decide what the hell I would like to do with the rest of my life

Yet another change in plans…

I finally made the decision to stop going to college (which I hated), at least until I figure out what I want to do.
I’m moving to Boston and am applying for jobs with the government because my mom works with the government and can put in a good word for me.
I’m going to work on a side project in which I spruce up old, used, and antique furniture to sell.
I’m mostly going to be saving up money and just living.

When I move to Boston, I’m essentially starting anew: new friends, new place, new life.
I can’t wait and it’s definitely going to happen.

New plan.
Because I don’t have enough of those….
Double major in Dietetics and Psychology or Sociology (not sure yet)
And a minor in Photography, possibly.
Be a dietitian for a while.
Then open my own vegan cafe / vintage/upcycled store.
I really like this plan right now.
Hopefully my mind sticks with it for a while…

I keep thinking I know exactly what I want to do, and then I change my mind, and every time I return to “undecided,” it hurts.
Just recently, very recently, I was set on double majoring in psychology and Visual Studies with a concentration in photography, and then going to grad school for art therapy.
Now I’m back to having no idea.
I’m starting to think that college is NOT for me, but I don’t know what else to do, so I’m just going to stick it out.
Probably going to major in Psychology anyway, maybe minor in photography..
HIGHLY doubt I’ll go to grad school.
We’ll see, but right now THIS SUCKS.

Contemplating doing a 5 year combined Bachelor’s/Master’s degree in Business Administration with a concentration in Accounting, and minoring in Photography.
People are driving me different ways at this point..
My friend thinks I should Major in Photography and minor in Accounting, because Photography is where my passion lies.
My mother thinks I should stick with the Major in Accounting and minor in Photography because that will get me farther.
And I’m just thinking that I’m already sick of college, and I haven’t even started yet. And I’m still hoping that they’ll hand us diplomas when we walk in on August 23rd.

Okay so as of right now, I want to major in accounting and minor in photography.
I figure that way it leaves a lot of doors open. I can start my own business, be a National Geographic photographer, or mix the two and open a photography business oO. And more importantly, I can work at home, which is important because I do plan on having little kiddies running around at some point. And I can enter the “Professional” category of photographers at the Fair.
Haha, I have to laugh at that because it seems perfect now, but I’m sure after the first month of college I’ll have completely different plans.
Argh! I just want to find what I want to do and STICK WITH IT.
That seems so impossible to me.
Only constant is Photography, still, but what is there to do with that, outside of a hobby? I just haven’t found anything strictly dealing with the kind of photography I like that makes enough money to live off of AND some day support a family.
—I COULD just marry rich and take pictures leisurely, but that’s the easy way out, and that’s not me.

Why does this goal seem so easy.. but then when I start really thinking about it, it’s the most difficult thing ever?!

I’m pretty sure I’m still too mentally young to decide this. My mind latches on to every little thing I even mildly enjoy.
I was set on Pharmacy for a while. Now I realize I would never do that.
Then it was Photography. I still love photography (wow.. something that lasted more than a year (5 to be exact)) but I realized that there’s no way to make a living off of photography alone.
During my Economics class… Yep, I wanted to do something with Economics, namely stocks. I even signed up to take Microeconomics next year in college.. Now I’m thinking that was a mistake, but I don’t know what to switch it to.
I guess I’m kinda now thinking that I’ll major in business and then take whatever comes my way after that.
And then a part of me just wants to travel.

This is such a horrible situation to be in.

I think I know what I want to do with my life, but my frequent second-guessing makes me wonder if this is what I really want. I think I’m just going to go for it and see where it takes me.