stop being so insecure

I have disappeared from everybody for a while now. Havent really talked to anyone or anything except for work. I think I am going to keep this up untill I figure myself out and all that. Maybe I would be less confused about everything.

Hahahaha…... I think Im even worser now then I was 2 monthz ago. I have a feelingz book that I go to to write wat Im feeling. But I duel upon watz getting me down! Im just very confused with life atmz!

Insecureity is what Im best at – no one knowz that Im insecure – no one really knowz me that well anyway – I havent got a best friend that I can talk to – Ive got no one that I can talk to – Im in darkness with everything and everyone – but one thing that is keeping me alive is my work – I really enjoy work and live for work – itz the only thing I belong – Ive got no one else then – no one who I will talk to will understand – thatz why I dont let anyone know me well enough – letz just say I once did it – but then I just thought I was just thinking about myself – and thatz why Im in the dark – I wanna be in the light – where everyone can know me – the happiness side of me..

I just think that 43things is the only thing to talk to. No one really listens to me about anything so I just say that I give up with trying to tell people whats bothering me and all that stuff. On 43things its much easier because there is lots of people that have the same problem and that we can give each other encouragement and help. Its really like a dream. I have major insecurities and I have made major mistakes and regrets.
Its all so wierd and the only escape is when I am asleep not awake. I also really feel like going someplace where I dont know anyone. Forgetting everyone and everyone Forgetting.

Its hard not to think about the insecurity’s you have. Its hard not to think about the regrets you made. Its hard not to think about all the mistakes you made.
But as for me, I have been making too many regrets and mistakes. First with friends, family, now other ppl. I just dont really know wat to do. Its just like that no one understands me or I dont belong anywhere!
I used to tell everyone my problems and wats bugging me and all that but now, these last couple of months, I would not tell anyone wats wrong, even thou they ask. My group of friends are really there for me but I shutted everyone out. It is proberly about wat happened to my 1st ex bf.
That is where it all started. He and other ppl betrayed my trust and lied, used, and hurted me emontioaly.
I cant trust anyone about anything now and also I am so confused.
I’m at the happies point that I have ever got but I am thinking different things and saying different things. Its like THEY changed me into wat once was a shy girl turning into a social friend aka better person.
That is why I want to thank them for wat they did because without them I would always be a shy girl that trusts everything and everyone!