I have made up my mind to take an MCAT class this summer, so no more sitting on my butt to figure out when I am going to do this. It is going to happen in May! I am trying not to put too much pressure on myself to take the MCATs immediately after I finish the test prep class, although I know that is what most people do.
I find it is best to look at this one project at a time. First, finish up my resume and essays for grad school, sign up for an MCAT class, work superhard on it, and then, if I feel ready, take the damn test and get it over with!!
On another note, my mom and I are beginning to see eye-to-eye on a few things. The idea of my leaving the country for a few months to do volunteer medical work is not throwing her into a state of sheer anxiety. Either she is seeing that I am growing up or my mom is just getting too old and tired to say no :)
I wrote out an entire essay this afternoon. I am pretty proud of myself. Yay! The secret to getting things done is actually making the choice to do it. Of course there are things you can do to make your choice easier (give yourself a reward, do what you need to do in a nice place where you don’t mind working for long hours, do it when you are feeling particularly motivated and confident). Anyhow, things look good, so I am listening to the soundtrack to Monty Python’s Spamalot. Me happy :)
I have to say this: I hate doing this. There is the agony of actually doing it and then the self-doubt that no matter what I do, everything is just going to end in a big pile of dog poo.
I really need to put this into perspective. It would be ideal if I got into my program of choice on my first try, but if I don’t then I can still do any number of things. I can teach high school for a year, learn to be an EMT, take an MCAT class, look for opportunities to volunteer in something I feel strongly about.
Yes, getting a rejection letter is crushing and painful. Yes, it would also mean another year of living in indecision about where my life is heading. Yes, I would have to work extra hard to find engaging and worthwhile things to do with my time. Yes, it would mean another year of being poor. Yes, my parents will bother me about this. But, the upshot is that other people have survived it and I can, too.
I realize that it is more likely that I reach my goals if I break them down into manageable pieces, so for this week, my mini-goal is to complete one essay for one application by Sunday. I will write one paragraph each day and edit it on Saturday. Yes, I can do this!
Okay, I am going to look at the application this weekend and free-write a response. This is not going to be easy or fun. In fact, it is going to be painful, but I want to do it because I want to go to this program next year. I think I can do well in this program. It will help me reach my goal of going to medical school.