Cultivate a fantastic and lasting marriage with my wonderful wife.

Yesterday we watched the Simpsons Movie. It was pretty funny.

And at the end, they played a hushed version of the Spider Pig theme, which I couldn’t help but sing along with.

“Spider Pig, Spider Pig, does whatever a Spider Pig does … “

“Ya basta, bañate Spider Pig!”
(“Yeah, enough already. Take a shower, Spider Pig!”)

We both laughed hysterically for about 5 minutes. We couldn’t talk.

She still has me in stitches.

Yesterday we got lost on our bikes in the Rattlesnake Nat. Rec. Area here in Missoula.

We ended up having to walk our bikes up a brutal 23% grade for about 1.5 miles. That was about 1.5 hrs of shear torture.

The only consolation was that as soon as we reached the summit (possibly around each bend in the trail) we would have an 8-mile downhill funride.

When we finally reached reached the climax of the trail, our excitement turned to disappointment when we realized that we would have to walk another mile downhill because the trail was simply too steep and soft to ride down. (Her a beginner carrying a puppy in a frontpack.)

She (up ahead) turned back to me and said, “Esta bajada va a doler tu tesoro.” (This downhill is gonna hurt your “jewels”.)

But what I heard from 20 feet back was, “Acabo de oler tu tesoro.” (I just caught a whiff of your “jewels”.)

The ensuing obfuscation still has us laughing our asses off a day later:

“WHAT! Oh NO you did not just say that! You did not smell any part of my body, what are you talking about!?”

“What?! What are you on about?”

“You said you can smell my ‘jewels’ from there.”

“Noooo, I said this downhill is gonna hurt your jewels.”

(Both fall over laughing.)

We’ve been mountain biking 4 days in a row now. I’ve been teaching my wife, from the outset, to ride with clipless pedals (where your shoes lock to the pedals and only unlock when you twist your foot hard).

She knew ahead of time there would be some spills because of it. But she also totally realizes that she couldn’t climb hills if it weren’t for having her feet attached to the pedals.

So today we were biking at Blue Mtn. Recreation Area here in Missoula and she took a couple spills, but came up laughing.

Then later in the day, we were on an easy part of the trail, coming across a large open meadow of tall grass with a mild dome shape.

I made it to the top and stopped to wait for her but when I stopped, I wasn’t quite able to unclip and I fell over in the grass with a thud … actually it knocked the wind out of me and hurt my shoulder a bit. Just enough to keep me down for a couple minutes.

When she came over the top, she couldn’t see me for the tall grass and she thought I had gone way ahead. So she kept riding naively until she suddenly came across me lying in the grass with my feet still attached to the pedals and my legs tangled under the bike.

“OMG. Honey, did you fall?”

“No … I’m just resting.”

She just thought that was the funniest shit ever. She’s been repeating that all day now.

I laughed too, but more out of pain and the relief of pain.

We’ve been having a good time biking.

I think there’s something wrong with my marriage. We just laugh and laugh and laugh.

Today, I accidently spit cereal and milk in my wife’s face and hair … she she just laughed and laughed.

I was eating cereal and making fun of her dancing at our wedding … she was dancing crazy with her aunt and mom to that song, “muevela pom-pom-pa, meuvela pom-pom-pa” (move your a-a-ass, move your a-a-ass).

When I turned to look at her, the expression on her face was one of feigned shock and hurt for the way I was making fun of her. But she couldn’t keep a straight face and she cracked up laughing.

That made me laugh explosively with cereal in my mouth and I spit it all in her face and hair.

She just stared at me in disbelief … actually we both stared at each other in disbelief for a moment and then we both burst out laughing hysterically.

We were laughing and crying while we tried to pick the bits of soggy cereal out of her hair.

Oh, there’s something wrong here.

I had no idea how much fun married life would be.

We have found a really sweet apartment in Lima for a couple months and we have been non-stop cooking for each other and her family. It’s awesome.

I’m glad I waited because it would NOT be ths same with any other person.

I’m the luckiest guy on Earth.

- DaveFer

My wife came to live with me in my Peace Corps site about a month ago, just before we were married. It’s not an easy place to enjoy—it’s the third world. She’s been a real trooper.

But I think we were initially punchy as a result of the stress of trying to survive the upcoming festivals here. But our stress has turned to pure giddiness since tomorrow we fly to Lima, for my close of service.

Tonight while we were packing she was lying on the bed teasing me about something embarrasing I did last week and I teased her right back about the same thing SHE did yesterday.

And she swung her leg around and kicked my belt buckle (not hard). It caused me to bend over defensively and I cracked my shin on the bed rail.

Which caused me to reel in pain and stumble over her open suitcase and do a very painful flying face-plant on the wood floor.

She lept up out of genuine concern and she stumbled over the same suitcase but fortunately (for her) the designated face-plant zone was already occupied (by me) and she landed on me like a shit-outa-luck sky diver and bounced onto the floor.

Neither of us could move or talk for about 45 seconds for the laughter and the pain.

When she finally caught her breath she was like, “What the hell are you doing? Don’t make me take you back to the hospital – you just got out today!”

“Yes. Yes … I want you to take me back to the hospital and explain to the same doctor why I’m back within 12 hours with broken wrists, knee-caps and bruised privates.” (But I forgot the word for knee-caps and said “spatulas” which translates roughly to … “spatulas”—which made my comment both stupider and funnier. The word for knee-caps in Spanish is “patelas” ... which translates roughly to “patellas” in English … way to go Papi.)

Of course it took me 2 minutes to say all that because we were both laughing uncontrollably.

Is it normal for a couple to spend about 99% of their time together and 80% of that is intense, tear-jerking, can’t catch your breath laughter? Spontaneous, high-impact, physical comedy?

I really just wanted to keep my recent marriage on my “to do” list for a few more days.

I made the mistake of entering the goal, “Marry Maricé” about 2 hours before I actually married Maricé. So the goal go a lot of cheers, but moved to my “Done list” after 24 hours.