record my dreams

Had a dream my grandmother tried to kill my brother with a shovel because he became a werewolf. This is the first dream I have ever had about a werewolf and I know it’s because I’ve been reading those books by Stephenie Meyer.

Another one of “those” dreams. And I know why. I haven’t seen the boyfriend in days. Another fight. Now I dream about him ditching me for someone else.

This time it was my (very pretty) co-worker. He kept insulting me in front of her. Then completely ignored me and started talking to her. And for some reason she was lying naked under the covers while he sat on the edge of the bed. And I (of course) was sitting on the floor. I wasn’t sad though or even hurt for that matter. I was annoyed, then I was just outright pissed. I even woke up from the dream angry.

Subconsciously I’m always fearful of him leaving me for someone else. I don’t even think I would really care if he dumped me; I just wouldn’t be able to take it when he finally found another girlfriend.

But in reality I know that I would be the one to move on and forget about him first. I know I’d be the one to find someone else.

I had a dream I was at my boyfriends job and I was looking through this drawer trying to find socks but none of them were the socks I was looking for. My pink sneakers were in the drawer too. And there was a cute guy who was standing next to me while I was looking for the socks.

Me, my mom, and my dad were sitting on a dock in front of a lake. I was drinking this really good beer. Which was weird, because my parents would never ever let me drink, especially not in front of them. But I remember the beer was really good, almost sweet.

I also dreamed that me and my boyfriend were on the phone, and I guess he was having a bad day so he broke up with me and hung up. Then I called back and a girl picked up the phone and I heard him in the background saying what a “fucking loser” I was. Then he laughed, the girl laughed, and I hung up. I knew who the girl was.

I saw the girl at the mall; with him. And I felt a mixture of mortification, anger, and hurt. But it was magnified to the 82347125989th degree because he was with her.

Then I remember having sex with one of my ex-boyfriends to make me feel better.

I dreamed I had sex with this girl I was in the 8th grade with.

She had long acylic nails that were painted black.

I was looking for a black shirt. She had on the black shirt I was looking for.

I think I was also a professional football player.

We had sex on the floor in a room; it had a ‘living room’ feel to it.

I was collecting coins for a lady. A mean lady.

There were girls there, from my old middle school. They were the mean girls who always teased me. One had on a backless shirt, and her back looked disfigured or scarred. The two girls were laughing and talking, and I was walking behind them.

I couldn’t control the volume of my voice. I was being very loud and drawing unwanted attention to myself. I kept disturbing the people around me. I just could not lower my voice.

Music was playing. It was a song I knew.

I had a pile of coins (quarters maybe?) I put on a desk/table. I named the pile of coins after a nickname my boyfriend has.