heal my heart

are difficult, but my heart has been feeling better and stronger.

but more light…and i will use all of the hard things right now to fuel me to get to the next level.

All things being how they are, everyone is ok and everyone has hope for things to be good.

better today.

hope it lasts and gets better.

pain pain go away
dont come back at all.

i don’t know where to put all my anger right now.

it’s making me sick.

Will this goal every be accomplished or will I just keep getting new hurts?

I know there is pain in life, but I know there must be a way to be generally healed.

Just one of those days where my heart doesn’t feel good.
Maybe it’s sleep deprivation. or stress.

poop.

Brianna Lopez is still on my mind most days.

Tonight, I finally found something I can do to honor her memory.

You may know that she has no headstone and that there is only a metal cage over her grave to prevent people from leaving flowers (trying to honor a little life brutalized and lost).

There is a petition here to have it removed.

One thing can lead to too many others on the internet.

A couple nights ago, I ended up reading about Brianna Lopez. If you are a parent, I would suggest you think 4 times before even considering googling her name (if you don’t already know who this is).

I cried after reading this story. I couldn’t sleep a wink the first night. After Lady M woke up and I spent some time with her, I felt a little better, but the images in my head have not left. The picture from her autopsy, the images I made up from the words I read; they are stuck. I want so badly to save her even though she’s already gone. My god…...it’s just so horrible, and I can’t understand how her family could have done these things to her.

I’m having a very difficult time within myself. I have never had a reaction like this to something I read about.

I don’t know how to…..not be depressed right now.

is in pieces.