publish my poetry

To the mirror,
It’s you, frowning again, what’s wrong? Reminded of the efforts I wrongly spent in those futile attempts to aesthetically please you, to linguistically anaesthetise you, to musically romanticise you? Too bad, relentlessly, they’ll pursue you as they stare deep, wind out my fingertips, trickle from my eyes. You just don’t seem to understand the notion of perfection the way I do, the way you harshly reflect all my flaws like you’re perfect yourself. Translucent, they should pass right through you, yet your opaque underpinnings reflect right back at me the negativity I’m trying to conceal. To fool oneself through one’s own reflection is only a reflection of one’s foolishness, yet all the talent in the world could not reflect favourably in this silver screen. Depends on the light, backlit from the rest of the world, there lies only a shadow, aside from the crowd, darkening only itself; light shining directly on the subject only seems to highlight the highs and downplay the lows, and in comparison, the shadows darken around it. Not every surface is as kind, or malicious, as you – instinctive glances in car windows, blinded by the sun; intuitive little glimpse of blur in calm waters, lit from inside – gently, gently nourish my vanity. How you subsist general monotony, and why, mesmerising now misty eyes, is mysteriously appealing, leaving me wondering if I may do the same one day. I see your eyes narrowing, darkening – don’t worry, I want to be like you, even if nobody else does.

Avert our eyes to comfort illusions
All too happy to live our delusions
Alone she bleeds, shrouded by night
Her body weeping with her silent plight
Torment typified in the blood she cried

And her blood, it runs cold
And her eyes look so old
And the scars on her arms
Prove the lies she once told
And her mind shies away
And leaves deft hands to play
And we’ll watch once again
All her mouth would not say

When did she decide the futility of life?
When the shadows take hold and our fears run rife
And the time in between holds no meaning no more
And the light has run dry, there’s no feelings no more
Can’t help but succumb to the edge of a blade
She can’t face up to the promises she’s made
Hides in the darkness so no-one can see her
Proving wrong those who want to hold her

Depression and anger always had a place in you
Their malice and suffering could always take shape in you
There was nothing you could do
There was nothing we could do
Blue fades from those eyes
Ocean runs dry
There was nothing we could do.
Nothing.

As they commute, we pollute
We try to feel complete
Strip clubs, brothels, we populate
Until shadows make us meet
Darkness in these buildings hide
The whores that we’re undressing
While this town smothers talent
It uncovers urges we’re repressing

The city’s always waiting
But the people, they grow old
The smog is suffocating
And it turns our young hearts cold

The morning bites again
Tearing at my mind
I’ve gotta leave this city
For the dreams I need to find
With every step, life drains from us
Until there’s nothing left
Empty shells, we are this city
Desolate, bereft

The city’s always waiting
But the people, they grow old
The smog is suffocating
And it turns our young hearts cold

Figures of authority
spill blood in our direction
Add some honour, sacrifice
and then mix to perfection
Force-fed insatiably
is there nothing we’ll reject?
Untruths, deceit, blatant lies
with secrets to protect
Families wait patiently
reliant on spun gold
Woven for illusions
that all too soon grow old
Falling down from splendour
in the darkness creeps
Society is torn apart
The scars of which run deep

Bound to complexity
each single word a test
Hiding from the fear
that she’s just like all the rest
Living in the shadows
of a world laid bare and dry
Questions always answered
with a steely alibi
The sin of curiosity
with no known absolution
Provides a life of misery
exempt from retribution
Questions provide answers
distorted by the masses
Punishment will loom for those
Without rose-tinted glasses

Lingering childish simplicities
Her words spell misspent youth
Entwined with adult notions
She leans further to the truth
Furours around her lingua
creating quite a fuss
She knows too much for comfort
knowledge is poisonous
Past undressed, threat assessed
Too far gone to employ
Stealthily they search for her
with orders to destroy
Heartlessly they take their aim
and for her mind they slay her
Watch the weeping in the shadows
as the world betrays her

I guess you loved the idea of me, a dusty photo to reminisce about one cold winter day, breathing in the haze of the newly kindled fires of the future. I guess I was a pin up of luminescent whims, a field of flowers whose beauty carries far and wide without words – for words taint that which is desirable, and send solitude over the horizon.
The flowers wilt, the sky blackens, the rain falls.
Colour is washed away, and with it, the beauty you left behind.

with

We grow young together as time trickles through our fingers.
We grow naive together as we learn from our mistakes.
We grow into the shadows with each other seeking light.
We grow into the floor because the sun is shining bright.
We hide within serenity and all its boundless whispers.
We hide our thoughts in oceans of atmospheric mist.
We hide unkempt desires in the blinking of an eye.
We hide disdain and ignorance wrapped up in a lie.

Dismantle all we know and rebuild a better past.
Wash it all away because perfection never lasts.
Arrange the future skillfully to make a better place.
Throw away the present and move into new disgrace.

Irrelevant auspicious murmurs never encompass velvet enunciations.
Relevancy grows old on doe eyed nimphs, over, under; gruelling harmonic fluctuations orally ravishing your ostentatious underpinnings.
Interlock aural messages and fritter away irresistable, loving undertones, regretlessly, easily.
Tread carefully upon desire – yearnings so secret and untold devour any realistic hope of fulfilment – a glass snowflake upon a flickering flame.

and

Haunted minds collecting memories
Patched polaroids hiding their disgrace
Fragility in focus, weakness on show
Boiling in their breathing space
This shame is the natant catalyst
Hidden under untitled cocaine haze
Live for the sound of the spirit shining
Dressed in the darkness of better days

Draw rain from the desert
And life from the soul
Free thoughts escaping
Call crowd control

Dance in the fallout from the signal failure
Fragmented fault lines catching the rain
Grooves in the bones collect life’s ether
Flirt with the darkness and its disdain
Jump to fall back into smooth illusions
Pull down the curtains on weary eyes
Holes in the heart weep kindred dreams
Wash it away with woven lies

Draw rain from the desert
And life from the soul
Free thoughts escaping
Call crowd control

Remember the days of hills and mountains:
Scars in the ocean from plastic tears
Inside the outside submerging breathing
Touching the sky to undress their fears
Bring future home as the tide draws in
Bury memories under layers of mist
Cloud the perceptions of near and far
Repression encouraged, truth submissed

Draw rain from the desert
And life from the soul
Free thoughts escaping
Call crowd control