be genuinely happy for others, not secretly jealous and bitter

i nearly removed this whole goal…
i’m pleased that other people have joined in, but there have been a few assumptions made about me that make me feel a bit uncomfortable…
just wanted to assure everyone that of course i’m often pleased when family and friends achieve and are happy, and i enjoy their success most of the time. i only struggle with this occasionally. but better would be never at all. i’m getting much better about appreciating the good things i have than giving myself a hard time with comparisons.

i’m sure this is related to the “stop comparing myself to others” objective. the weird thing is, i end up bitter and twisted about things my friends have that i don’t even want. it’s soooo stupid. someone at work got promoted recently and instead of being pleased i was annoyed. this is a promotion i wouldn’t even want! i’m happy with the life i have, and grateful for it. i don’t get why i can’t be happy for others. i worry maybe, that somewhere, somehow, i’m missing out on something.

of course, i’m bitter and twisted about things that friends have that i do want too.

the thing is, i don’t want to be like this – but how can i change it? is it impossible to make myself be sincere?

I read this somewhere:
Comparisons are a greased slope into a pit of guilt, envy, anger or feelings of inferiority and intimidation.

It’s so true. It’s like I’m scared that there isn’t enough room for everyone to be happy and successful. That one person’s success might automatically mean less of the pie somewhere for me.
SO DUMB.