forgive him

I think that we are on a good path to making things better now. Last night he actually got upset and said he was sorry. After that it’s like something lifted inside of me. Like I needed to see him cry, I needed to know that he was actually sorry for what he did.

Today I can’t even find a reason to be upset with him anymore. It’s weird how things can just click. How spending one night alone together can really make all the difference.

Have I fully and truly forgiven him? Yes, now I can honestly say I have but there is still healing to be done, trust to earn back. Time will help this all come. He’s trying hard and that’s what really matters most.

I wish I could forgive him for betraying me and breaking my heart. I told him I could but I’m not so sure. It hasn’t been long so I haven’t had much time to heal but I still think about it and become extremely hurt and enraged. I wonder what exactly happened and what exactly was said but that only hurts even more. Every day I think about how much I hate him because of it.

I hope that a year from now I can look back and think it meant nothing and that he’s still mine and we’re happy.