I’ve always loved words and reading since I was little. When I was younger and asked what I wanted to be when I was older, I would reply, “An author.” I did well at school for creative writing in English, but that was really the only time I did write. But as I grew up and understood a bit more about life, I grew more and more cynical and I left any ideas of writing behind in favour of working out a more achievable goal, like being a secretary. Recently though, I’ve felt like I should try writing and see if there’s any reason why I feel like it’s something I should do – to see if I’m capable of it.
I hear many people say that they love writing, and they are compelled to write all the time. But I’m not like that, and this is where my confusion comes from. I feel like creativity and words are something that should be part of me, but I don’t write that often and I’ve only recently let myself think about it, and so I don’t know how I feel about the actual process of writing. I’ve started getting ideas for some stories, but I can’t seem to work out coherent plots for them all.
I wrote my first ‘short’ story this year – the first creative piece of writing I’ve done for about 4 years – and it turned out really long at roughly 8,000 words. It doesn’t follow the conventional short story format and it seems to be stuck between genres and no one is interested. Only my best friend has read it, and she’s naturally biased. I thought I’d finally have something to be proud of once I’d finished, but I think it’s a bit of a mess.
I honestly worry that I’m the writing equivalent of the people who go on X-Factor and Pop Idol saying they’re the biggest thing since Madonna, and then they open their mouths and sound like a cat in a tumble dryer. So I would dearly love to write better.
