be nicer to my parents

I also understand that this is always an ongoing, evolving process. But I believe I’ve come far enough from the way it was in my childhood to justify to myself that this goal is “done.”

I’ve learned to listen to them and understand why they do the things they do. I understand why they don’t verbalize “I love you” all the time, and I understand that they prefer to show it in actions instead. I also realize that my feelings are important, too – so conflict is a natural part of relationships, especially if I’m going to be around these people all the time, and especially if they’re very different from me.

I don’t beat myself up for showing anger or annoyance – because I need to get it out there somehow, instead of keeping it in me like I usually do – but I also have to consider the least aggravating methods of doing so. I realize that I have to be patient with them, but there are issues that need to be resolved – for example, they are wont to emotionally abuse me. Now, either I need to not take it so personally, or they need to change their actions. But at least I realize problems and can see the state of our relationship clearly.

Things look good for the future.

I think that reason might have been to drive me crazy.

No, just kidding, but only partially. I think He gave them to me to teach me that I need to learn to live with other people, and love them as they deserve to be loved (no matter how annoying they get). I usually hate giving up my personal space and I hate spending too much time with the same person.

I’m trying.

And you know what? I imagine I’m driving them crazy too. No, scratch that, I’m positive I’m driving them crazy too. So far, though, they seem to be ahead of me on this “being nicer” goal. Shame on me.

I used to fear that I would die before my parents, or that my parents would die before me. I was afraid of losing everything that I wouldn’t get the chance to do, everything that I would need them here for, everything that can only be done while we are still here together.

Now I think that I do fear death, but what I actually fear more is not being able to let people know I love them enough before I/they die. I worry that I won’t get it through to them properly, the way that so many people try and try to let me know and yet I misunderstood. That is my biggest fear. I think it’s a reasonable one.

This is why you must continue to tell people/show them through actions that you do love them, every single day of your life, for there will come a day when you no longer will be able to physically do something about it on Earth, you will only be able to keep the faith that your love will form a bridge between Heaven and here.