stop worrying about things I cannot change

So I am moving it to my done pile

Can I change the way I feel? I mean I love and I want to move on…Can I stop loving? NO! Or can I??? I really want to So that I can Move on in my current relationship completely. I feel like I am holding something back. And I don’t want to be holding anything back. I want to change this. But can I? I am so worried about it. It is effecting everything else. Probably something else that would be good to bring up in therapy today.

That I cannot change, It’s like it’s all coming flooding back all at once. I have all this anger and this feeling of injustice. That I wasn’t treated the way I should have been treated as a child. Yes I believe that if you are under 18 you are still a child. that you are still under your parent’s care and they should treat you a certain way. and my mother did not give me the love and nuturing that I needed and so desperately craved. I just wanted her to love me. But she was too busy drinking and doing drugs. That is why I have never drunk to excess or done drugs. I never ever want to be like her. And sometimes I might go overboard with my affection, but I believe that children should know that they are loved. SO I used to tell ny stepdaughters at least 50 times a day how much I love them. And I tell eric at least 20 times a weekend that I love him. and how handsome he is. because he needs to know that he is cared for. And that someone loves him. I always kiss his head and wish him sweet dreams. My mom never tucked me in. He is too big to be tucked in but I figure that little gueture means a little something to him. I once asked him if it embarrasses him When I say I love him or kiss him and he said no. that he liked it. so maybe he needs to hear it. SO maybe I can change his life a little bit. I know I can’t change my past but maybe I can influence his future.