have an attitude of gratitude

I am soooo grateful for text machines and their phoning ability. I miss my boy but being able to text and call him is great

I guess that gratitude comes naturally to me now when well but it is when I am in this ‘place’ that I need to sit and make a concentrated effort to list what I am grateful for. It stops the feeling of overwhelming negativity.

Today I really saw how far I have progressed. In the past when this cloud enveloped me I would be days of not coping, in bed, crying and not washing or eating etc.
The last couple of days I have had the cloud around where i have NO energy and my thoughts are not as healthy as I would like. I wanted to be motivated but didn’t feel it so I pandered my mood and lay on the couch with my computer. In the past i would have played games or watched a DVD, this time I cleaned up my 43t list!!! WOW so even when I was not motivated, I stayed motivated. It really shows me how far I have come :)

Sooooo I am grateful for:
~Loving myself
~Friends that are caring. Kitty cooked for a dinner party this evening and it was fantastic. It was nice to get dressed up to eat dinner and have adult conversation
~Boys who can see a future with me (Ryan is so sweet)
~My new job, I wasn’t sure I would cope but I love it. I am waitressing and I even got $5 in tips.
~My fantastic bedroom
~My laptop, I love it so
~43T I appreciate it soooo much
~Life, it is so great
~Upcoming birthdays and the potential for fun and lingerie…

Today I was very grateful for my beautiful boys. I got twin boys in Dec 06. When we went to see them there were three kittens in the litter. One was black and white and very much a mummy’s kitten. The other two were nearly identical and hung around together. I couldn’t imagine splitting them so my partner (at the time) said we could take both. Ever since they were born these two kitties have been the best of friends.

Today they REALLY warmed my heart though as they licked each other clean. Calzini just lay there as his brother Junkitz licked him from head to toe. Zini tried to lick Junkie but he wouldn’t let him so Zini wrapped BOTH paws around Junkie’s head and held him still and licked him. It was the most adorable thing I ever did see and it makes me grateful that I had a partner that allowed me to get them both. They are nearly 2 years old (28th Oct) yet they are never far from one another. It just warms my heart to be thier mummy!

had a rough few days
sooooo
Today I need to be grateful even more than normal.

-I am grateful to be alive (this is a biggie after years of never wanting to be)
-I am grateful that I have a nice house to live in
-I am grateful that I have two cats that love me
-I am grateful that I have a nice bedspread
-I am grateful that I have A4 books to write in thanks to my daddy.
-I am grateful for sunny days
-I am grateful for heaters
-I am grateful for clean washing
-I am grateful for running water
-I am grateful for friends that have put up with my crazy moods of late. I just can’t seem to work out why I am like this…
-I am grateful for dictionaries (online and book form)

I am sure that their are hundreds of other reasons that I am grateful but I need to get up and DO stuff now so this will wait until my next entry.

Yay, I do feel better!

I had a lovely date tonight with a great guy that I wouldn’t have met if it wasn’t for internet dating. I am just so grateful.

I was having a bad day today. I was reading through my goals and this one stood out and I knew that it is a sign to find what I am grateful for today.

My Dida died on Sunday. I am grateful for the length of time that he lasted on Earth. I am especially grateful that he got to meet my brother and spend nearly two years watching him grow. I am grateful that my Nana and Pop who I am really close to (they live here in NZ with me) are still living. I am grateful that I have great memories of all my grandparents.

I am grateful that I have the internet.

I am grateful that my ex boyf brought around videos for me to watch and brought cat food around for our cats even though we broke up a year ago.

I am grateful for friends that love me. This is one of the few times in my life that I have felt it.

I am grateful for my online friends, Dan in particular, who let me into their lives.

I am grateful for Pink knitted scarves. My friend Deana is knitting me a scarf from wool that I got from another friend. I know I will feel very loved when I wear it.

I am grateful for the person who put a link about Flylady on the smile city classifieds. Thanks to seeing that article, I joined Flylady and my house is becoming clearer and a lot more fun to live in.

I am grateful for colour. Imagine if life was like in Pleasantville!!!

I am grateful for catdoors so that I don’t have to get up in the middle of the night to let the cats out.

I am grateful for ensuites.

I am grateful for sexy friends who are my backup marriage plan so that I can have my babies before I get too old.

I am grateful for my personal development groups.

I am grateful for email.

I am grateful for Toastmasters.

I am grateful for the paper and pen that I am using to write my speech.

I am grateful for telephones.

I am grateful for DVD’s.

I am grateful for:
ex boyfs fizing my laptop and removing viruses
toastmasters
new friends
hot water bottles
fridges
liquid minerals
my beautiful room
msn (even with the aforementioned virus!!!)
dvd’s
the colour purple
running water
papers
ribbons

Ok sitting here listening to the rain. I had a shocker the last couple days so it is nice to have centred again.

I am grateful for a Steve Pavlina article that I read on living in the now. It got my thoughts back into perspective and rather than crying for the remainder of the day I achieved things that bought me joy instead!

Today I am grateful for herbal tea and honey,
I am grateful for friends that would drive 5 hours to see me(and then 5 home again a few hours later)
I am still grateful for the internet
I am grateful for getting emails (I tend to only get forwards and newsletters. I know get emails from three people and they are my 3 43t buddies!!! Thanks guys, they mean a LOT to me)
I am grateful for dreams
I am grateful for flatmates going out and leaving me home alone
I am grateful for TV tonight. It was just what I needed
I am grateful for two weeks rent free it allowed me to eat well for more than two weeks.
I am grateful for my cellphone and Txt2000.
I am grateful for thoughts flowing easily. I appreciate them much more because I am struggling with that at the mo.
I am grateful for being healthy. It wasn’t till I felt yucky today that I realised just how healthy I am at the moment.

I am feeling REALLY grateful after a HIDEOUS week. So while my mind is cleart I want to list what I am grateful for so that if I do become seeped in negativity I can review these entries and lift my spirits in a non destructive way.

-I am grateful that I can see that these hard things are just tests from the universe to determine if I am sincere in reaching my goals.

-I am grateful that the sun is shining and that I SEE it.

-I am grateful that I have stayed out of myself long enough to see that sarah needed help.

-I am grateful for ex’s that still care about me. Sam brought over catfood and Chris is coming up (1.25hours drive) for videos tonight. AND both of them know that there is no sexual gain to be got from being friends with me.

-I am grateful that I have a home to live in, access to the net and a shower (when I am feeling up to getting wet again).

-I am grateful for a counsellor that is aware of my issues and tries her hardest to make sure I leave every session with no hard feelings between us.

-I am grateful that I can see myself slipping and that I am asking for help.

-I am sooooo grateful to the regular 43things people that are my own personal cheering team. There are three in particular that I appreciate their efforts so much. Thank you guys!!!

-I appreciate that the video store does calanders that allow me to hire movies for $1. I got out 7 last night for all of us to watch. 2 for the kids, 1 for sarah, and 4 for me. AND although I could have spent the money elsewhere it was affordable to treat us again.

-I am grateful that I have a fridge FULL of healthy food for myself, the kids and the cats. Oh and for the puppy too.

-I am grateful that I got to see the miracle of birth when the kid’s cat Gizzie gave birth on Thursday night.

-I am grateful that I had my camera and got photos as well.

-I am grateful that I got to babysit and learn new skills.

-I am grateful that I got to scrapbook for so many hours.

-I am grateful for colour. it brightens my life significantly!

I am sure that there are more but I think that I will go and watch one of my movies. I am grateful that I have the choice of a TV or my laptop on which to watch them :)