Become number one in Google for my name

My real name has never been anywhere in the Google search results, but I don’t mind that… I always thought I could rely on being number one for my pseudonym, ‘DuraKaN’, but this is no longer the case, thanks to some stupid bin company called ‘Dura-Kan’.

That’s a terrible name for a company. I might ask them to change it. Otherwise, I’ll have to develop some dynamic plan of action for clawing my way back to the top, and that will take effort.

I had given up on this goal after my first search went so miserably wrong, but now I appear on Page 19 of Google for my name! It’s a profile that I created ages ago on a freelance writing website that I can’t remember doing… but it’s definitely me because it has an extract of my NaNoWriMo novel on it.

I will climb the rankings! I will claim top spot! ALL USURPERS OF MY NAME WILL FEEL MY WRATH! Or more likely not notice at all.

There’s too many people with my name >:(

A tax expert who’s written numerous books on finance, a bloke working in Real Estate, someone with a PhD who works at Cambridge University, a sailor who trekked through Maine in 1567, a piano instructor, a philosophy professor at Chicago university, an environmental microbial safety research microbiologist (whatever one of those is), CEO of some rental company, President of an entertainment company, someone who was Vice Chancellor of Kent University in 1927, a Canadian Special Olympics competitor in snowshoeing, a physician, a Desert Grand Prix driver..

And now I can’t be bothered and I’m just going to see if I appear anywhere… at all.. on Google… Jesus.. there’s so many… I didn’t think my name was this common… page 50 and still none of them are me… I AM NOT GIVING UP!......... NOO! I thought I’d found myself then because it was on my university’s website.. but no.. it’s a book published by my university written by someone with the same name as me, but who is definitely not me… I’m going to cry in a minute.. OK, page 70, and there are no more results. I appear on NO websites at all that are listed on Google.

This will be quite a challenge then, considering the calibre of my opposition. In fact, I may just give up now.

I bet my pseudonym ‘DuraKaN’ is the first result though… Ah yes, and it just happens to be my 43Things account. Nice to know I’m more widely renowned than the place named ‘Durakan’ in Iran. Hmm.. although there also appear to be a number of other people using the name ‘Durakan’. I’ll have to hunt them down and sue them for identity fraud.