have a wardrobe full of clothes I actually love and that fit

Waas very stressed on Thursday (see entry re industrial dispute) so instead of falling home and on to the couch with a take away, I went shopping….Debenhams had a 20 % sale, and my mam gets a further 10 % off with her store card, so I am the proud owner of two lovely casual shirts, one dressy jersey top, and some charcoal grey cords. I love them all :-) I feel rather giddy with the possession of them….have to make sure to wear them now, not keep them hanging up and ‘precious’. Can’t spend a penny for the rest of the month not already budgetted for, but worth it!!

Such a strange thing to get excited about, but I bought two thermal vests today…. :-) Need them for archery, the hall where we shoot is like a fridge, but these are just so perfect…really thin so no added bulk, beautiful slate blue colour, and ribbed with no fancy lace bits so they can be worn like a tee…. 10% wool and they feel like silk. They cost 25 euro each, which is a crazy extravagance on my budget, but I love, love, love them!!

Starting small, I have gone through my socks and underwear, and thrown out anything obviously tatty, or that I would be embarassed if any one else saw…...why oh why do I hang on to bally socks that have shrunk to a size appropriate for a small child…..and in the mornings, why do I reach for those socks rather than the ‘good’ ones? I threw them out. With the little voice in my head whispering that I should hold on to them, because they are useful for stuffing cushions, or wiping tiles, or 100 other things that will never happen :-)

Having been overweight for so long, and of course staying in a marriage I wasn’t happy in, getting divorced etc, I have tended to punish myself, or hide myself away, in dowdy, unattractive clothes. It’s a frivilous thing, of course. I am not what I wear. But if I present myself to the world a certain way, that’s how most people will see me. That’s how I am telling the world I want to be seen. So, with very little money and an awkward body shape, I hereby commit myself to building up a wonderful wardrobe of clothes that make me feel happy, reflect my personality, and match every aspect of my life.

Even work clothes. I still tend to buy clothes I hate for work.