meditate daily

Back in February I was terminated by my employer. In today’s economy that was terrifying. Add that to some severe medical problems and I could hardly function. I kept a wrist mala with me at almost all times. Whenever panic set in, I would simply focus on my breath, one breath per bead, and slowly go around the mala. By the time I got around, I had usually calmed down enough to function. I haven’t needed to do that for a few months now.

Now to get into the habit of meditating just for the sake of meditating.

gifted me with a rosary a week ago. I’ve incorporated it into prayer and meditation, even though I have no idea of how I’m “supposed” to pray the rosary (I looked it up on Wikipedia, then decided to follow the yearnings of my heart).

I’m still using my mala beads from time to time as well.

It’s so much more sensual to feel the beads on the mala, one for each breath – in and out – another bead. Smooth, fragrant. Focusing on just mindfulness. What a wonderful anchor device.

I used a mala this morning to guide my meditation. I used the Om Mani Padme Hoom mantra. A mala is like a rosary for Buddhist meditation.

I was looking at buying a mala, but I have one that an Anger Management client gave me years ago. He gave me the mantra “Bakawha,” which he translated as “I open myself to shalom” (the Hebrew “shalom” is a far richer word than Latin “pax” or English “peace.” It includes the concept, not only of an absence of conflict, but off blessing and abundance.)

After I’ve become a daily meditator, I will probably buy a new mala, one of amber (EXPENSIVE), sandalwood, or bodhi tree seeds. Maybe even one of bones …

Meditation – focused on healing for my cousin-in-law, K, who fell and banged her head. One of the dearest souls I know. Being present, focused on healing and supplication, still glowing with the energy of a vigorous yoga session. It was powerful. She is healing. So mote it be.

I did a walking meditation in the pre-rain sprinkles while my dog frolicked around me. It was blessed!

Yet I know it’s also one of the most rewarding. I have choosing to set time aside for meditation. When I start to meditate, the dragons of anxiety break loose and pursue me. I know from experience that if I stand firm, they will vanish like the illusions they are. But part of me clings to illusion and doesn’t want to meditate. That part would rather play video games – which I’m off to do right now.