Become a Better Mother

Babysitting other people’s kids really helps me to appreciate my own.

1. Patience—definitely. It’s hard not to “lose it” when there’s a screaming toddler throwing temper tantrums, the pregnancy hormones are running wild, I have assignments to finish, hubby’s work schedule is so unpredictable, and there’s a ton of pressure to get things done, do things for other people, and expectations to live up to (from others and myself).
2. Yelling. This pretty much goes hand-in-hand with patience. I lose my patience and I yell. I need to control my temper when dealing with my son. I’m not getting my point across and I’m just hurting his feelings and convincing him that it’s okay to yell when you don’t get your way.
3. Play more. We’ve been getting out since the weather’s nice, but I still have a bad habit of plopping down in front of the tv or computer and leaving him to entertain himself. Most of his temper tantrums are just him trying to get my attention.
4. Stop taking on so much. I have a bad habit lately of taking on too much—assignments for my class online, babysitting for whoever needs it, running errands for people, committing to tasks/events that I don’t really have the time for. My son ends up suffering because I’m too tired to give him one-on-one attention and play time when it’s all said and done. And I suffer because I don’t have any energy left.
5. Take me-time to do something I enjoy. Nap time or bed time, I just need some time out for myself to do scrapbooking, sewing, reading, whatever.

I’m working on my temper. It helps tht my husband is back home with us, so I have the occasional help now that I didn’t before. It’s nice to get a little break once in a while. But I’m still doing things on my own all day long, from breakfast to 6 or 7 at night. And during that time I’m trying to let myself cool off when I get frustrated instead of taking it out on my son.

A book caught my eye the other day, so I bought it and it’s been an interesting read. It’s called “I was a really good mom, before I had kids”.
It goes over the idea that mothers have “too many choices” and all the responsiblities we have in the workplace and at home can get a little overwhelming. It aims to prove to overwhelmed mothers that we’re not alone, and it’s okay for us to feel the way we feel and get angry sometimes.
I think there’s a good message, despite some of the books flaws (a lot of it comes across as whining, condescending, and ungrateful), but I can even find myself relating to some of its flaws.
I’d recommend it to other mothers out there who are frustrated and over-tired to take a break after the little ones are in bed.

Any other mom-books that anyone has found inspiring or helpful?

Well there’s certainly nothing better than watching other people’s kids, overnight, to make you appreciate your own.

I can see how my unhappiness is affecting my son, even at his delicate 11 months. I want to change, but I realize I have to work on my self.

I feel like a horrible mother.
I want to change, but I feel so lost.