To live instead of exist

It’s really hit me recently. It’s so easy to say that I want to “live life to the fullest”, but what does that really mean? How is living a full life different from how I’m living right now?

I’m making actual goals now. I’m not going to let my fears, or shyness, or depression or apathy keep me from enjoying day to day. I’m going to stare those obstacles right in the face and do things.

I’m going to get involved. If something is making me unhappy, I’m going to remove that from my life.

Most importantly, I’m going to stop criticizing myself. I’m going to start each day with positive affirmations, acknowledge my achievements, and celebrate them! I’m going to focus on the positive, instead of dwelling on what could have been or what went wrong.

There’s so much to be excited about!

quite like spending time with a toddler on the playground, on a sunny day. It’s times like those that make me forget to “exist” and just live in the moment.

I’ve been really trying to make a conscious effort to enjoy life more. I have my slip-ups, my frustrations, my taking it out on people who don’t deserve it. I feel guilty sometimes. But instead of dwelling on that guilt and those frustrations, I’m trying to use them as learning experiences. How did I feel when I did this to so and so. How did they feel/react? How can I deal with this situation in a better way next time?
I am really trying and feeling better about life. I’m talking to more people, getting out, making more friends. I’m getting involved in things and I would really like to do more.
Things are definitely looking up. I just need to keep going and I think I can finally be really happy with my life and actually enjoy it.

Every day I feel myself just going through motions. Maybe not even that. I feel empty most days. I don’t go out of the house. I don’t even really function inside the house. My son is suffering. My marriage is suffering. My relationships are suffering.

I’m suffering.
I’m in need of desperate re-organizing and self-motivation.

I’m not going to waste time, I’m not going to let myself get overwhelmed, or frustrated or stressed. I’m going to take things one moment at a time, one step at a time. I’m going to notice the good before the bad and appreciate it. I’m going to love instead of fight, be there for those who need me, and I will take my frustrations out in a constructive way instead of yelling and throwing things.

I feel like I’m wasting so much time. That I’ve wasted so much time already. I take everything for granted because I’m too busy moping and dwelling on the past or waiting on something to happen. I can never just appreciate the here and now.
I need to learn to take my time and just go with things. I need to be more spontaneous and to enjoy things that come into my life. I need to quit dramatizing the little things and letting them get to me and ruining the rest of my day, week, year, whathaveyou.
Every day seems so routine: sleep all day, stick the baby in his high chair, feed him, change him, put him down for a nap, sit in front of the tv until husband comes home, eat dinner, stay up all night.
I need to get out and do something and enjoy the time I have with my son. He won’t always be so little.
I want to enjoy the time I have with my husband because I never know when he’ll be shipped overseas or off to training again.
I wish I could love life. I don’t think I ever have.