make a difference

Well, packing up my first apartment since I moved to Washington over a year ago.

I don’t really care about renting this house. I’ll probably sign myself off the lease in a year, go back on the road. But really, what matters is soon my friend will have a home to build the life she wants for her and her son. I’m glad to offer her this opportunity. Everyone deserves a leg up in life, you know?

Sometimes I feel like I spread my resources too thin trying to give those around me an opportunity to help themselves.

It’s 12:42AM. I’m revamping this less than computer savvy friend’s resume wording 3 templates so they’re relevant to each field she applies at. Finding a job is hell for anyone right now, let alone a disabled, single mom doing it all on her own. For 2 straight weeks we’ve been driving around all over town, me just tagging along to keep her company and watch the the little one while she runs in and out of these businesses like wonder woman.

My eyes aren’t so bad I particularly need a Care Giver, but I qualify, so once that paperwork goes through the state will pay for her certification. After that she can take on other clients who could really benefit from someone as helpful as she since the most I’d want is rides to classes and appointments.

It means no Italy this summer that I’d been saving for these last 6 months, but I think renting a little house with her will be a good thing for everyone. She’ll have the kind of home she hopes for her 2 year old, and I’ll finally have a big enough space to host meditation workshops without it killing us both financially.

OK!
I think it’s time for bed… My brain is fried from all this cooperate America lingo.

Yesterday was Fertile Ground’s 3rd meeting. I’m hoping this group takes the novel approach of taking action to their activism. We’re organizing a radio station, and youtube project for issues within Whatcom County. In my head it be amazing to have presence locally, involved in preservation of our little sanctuary as well as organize outreach projects.
This is all way off in the future, though.

In any case, I’m really excited about these sustainable build projects sprouting up all over the country, and finally going back to college for Sustainable Development.

So, I’m enjoying a cup of chocolate amazingness when some executive types from some tech company start happily discussing how they like volunteers rather than hiring interns because the volunteers are more enthusiastic to work as they perceive it an opportunity where as interns begrudge it a low level job that doesn’t pay them their value after everything they invested going to college.
Fancy that, people thinking they have worth in the workplace?
We should all be damn grateful for our underpaid, strenuous, stagnating jobs that perpetuate the wealthy staying rich and the poor scraping by while the middle class live for material fulfillment.
Hey, man, capitalism, the trickle down theory, that shit is gold.
Those manipulative, exploitative, corporate fucks…
It took all my strength not to pour scolding hot coffee over their heads..

The desire for change comes from love, and love keeps the changes necessary from becoming the means that justify the end, but love as a philosophy is not enough to evoke change. It requires action, initiative. That’s a problem with my liberal party.. lots of empathy, but not enough getting in the dirt.
Beyond feeling about a situation we need real solutions..
So, I ask myself, “If their conversation appalls me, if the system from which they prosper appalls me then what should I DO about it?” Obviously, spilling coffee on people is hardly constructive, but neither is pacifism in a chaotic world.

On response to this blog a friend said, “A great deal of activism is reactionary. What we need is change through inspiration” I think he was on to something there.

So, I’ve been volunteering at the local Food Bank for a couple months now.
My general impression watching all this find food come through is that American’s take the abundance of their country for granted, and eat too much junk food. Still, It’s been a wonderful experience, and I’m glad on impulse I filled out the application.
I’ll be helping out at their actual farm in a couple months if all goes well. I’m excited about the learning opportunity.

I’m hoping to make a 3 week trip to India soon with an associate of my boss who travels there for her ayurvedic healing supplies.

Today I’m researching teaching English as a second langue certification details, but feeling a little overwhelmed. Still, once I get that done it’ll open a lot of doors to traveling.

Well, it’s been a few minutes of meeting interesting people, taking in their wisdom with a highlighter and red pen..

Up until a couple weeks ago I always felt a calling to teach and counsel, but had no idea how I would work with people. Mid meditation I had my first clear affirmation, just a flicker of me in my late 20’s hosting a workshop that began with a guided meditation, then flashed forward to art therapy, then zipped ahead to the burning of our canvases in beautiful bonfire.
It was only a quick glimpse.
I still feel like I have a lot of work to do on myself before I’m ready to teach anyone about overcoming themselves, and realizing their passions, but that split second of foresight was really motivating.

All these metaphysics authors coming and going, dictating Sandy’s letters, getting a feel for how this whole “spiritual workshop” system goes, all the networking, and fluffing..
I’m learning a lot slowly working for this organization.. figuring out how I want to help people reach consciousness.
I’m not really comfortable with all this ‘selling a product’, but I guess Stranger In A Strange Land said it best,
“You have to sell it to them because otherwise they won’t take it. It takes people a long time to accept a good thing for free”

Walking around Seattle in no particular direction two military helicopters sored overhead, and the sound, that whip of the blades touching every corner of the sky took me to another place that felt like several years from now somewhere that wasn’t Seattle, but still green. The streets were urgent, this sense of uneasy confusion, hints of National Guard presence, people staring over the horizon line hugging themselves, their loved ones wondering what’s to come.

You know, every punk with a little sight wants to think they’re the next fuck’n messiah..Everyone wants a fuck’n following fighting for that podium with nothing proactive to offer spitting the same basic truths that’ve always been there.
Thing is the public is desensitized to the message, all messages. It’s not enough to preach what on some level the people already know because it’s been whored to them as a neatly packaged gimmick fit for ironic T-shirts and daytime TV.

None of us need a damn leader..
Sheep don’t evolve..

We just.. need to be the change we hope to see in the world, need to wash away these irrelevant lines drawn in the sand that only exist to stifle our growth as human beings and take hands a community..

It all starts with an oasis.