learn to trust

hmm. This is getting slightly easier. Another go with the boy means im still trying – when i spend time with him i see my paranoia is somewhat unfounded. I do trust him in some ways – when he lets me in it makes me trust him. I see logically sometimes and not others. I need to hold on to my trust when it does come in however small bits. Hes away for a month now with work so plenty of time to deal with my feelings.

Im not doing good with this. Me and the boy had a small reunion at the weekend and I thought I was ready to trust him but I`m not. I still questioned him and he hates it. I`m really pissed off cause I thought I was more ready to let him in but I guess if I was then I wouldn`t be questioning him. Its a bit disheartening cause I want to change.

I really want to learn how to trust men again. well especially one person. Who I think I can trust. Who I know in my heart of hearts that I could`ve trusted. I just get so scared of what might be sometimes I completely obsess about what might happen and don`t see whats right in front of me. I want to learn to let ppl in without being scared