Not feel ugly

So I changed myself. I tried to make myself seem more prettier or more..refined. I refined my features, I guess. And I’m starting to attract attention. Sometimes people tell me I’m pretty, more guys hit on me, and I don’t mentally scream everytime I encounter a mirror. But, I’m rotting. I’m rotting in the inside. I’m not any of these compliments, I’m not any of these pretty features. I am a waste and a disgust. How can people tell me I look pretty, when I look at at myself and I want to smash it. I am ugly on the inside, and the outside too. How come even though I changed my appearance to the most I can, and I still feel ugly inside? Why do I still feel black, disgusting and rotten? I don’t understand, how Make- Over shows do it. I don’t believe in them anymore. Sure, they make the contestents be more attractive but they feel just as ugly and insecure after it as they did before.
This change of appearance is nothing. When anyone hands me a compliment I don’t know what to do with it. I can’t think that they’re actually praising me, becuase I don’t see anything inside me that could be worth that. What’s wrong with them? And what’s wrong with me?

I think I’m ugly. My nose is too small. My umbridge is too flat. I feel like my face is round when I just want that beautiful oval face that all those supermodels have. I hate my complexion, I have acne, and blemishes and pores the size of mars. I never felt like I was pretty. I have a friend who is just so beautiful, she’s a model, that whenever I’m next to her I shrink immediately. In looks and existence. She grabs all the guys attentions. Even with my good guy friends. They go over to her because they’d rather have a superficial talk with someone beautiful than actually say something with a person plain-looking. I just feel ugly. And ugly means invisible. It just frustrates me so much. I might as well die, no one would care.