get straight A's

I might as well give up on this. I have these major tests in two days but there has not been one day I have been able to concentrate on studying. These past weeks, my life has been incredibly messy and emotionally distressing. I have no energy to focus on anything, and I will definitely not be able to get straight A’s now. I’d be lucky I just passed A part of me seems to simply want to consciously destroy everything I have out of self-abuse. And another part of me can’t seem to gather the energy to care about anything anymore. Someone please help me.

I want to do this. I want to do this soo badly. And this time for me, not for my parents, not for my teachers, for me. I’m the worst student ever. I nearly flunked the grade. But this time, I finally have all the classes I enjoy and I CAN do this. I already have an A in psych, math, and english. I actually understand phsyics and I’m going to get into an easier chinese class becuase the one I’m in is way too hard for me. I also need to try harder in history too. But this would be the biggest accomplishment I have nearly ever done. The almost drop-out becoming one of the best students in school. Maybe.