learn to trust God completely, knowing He is in control and all things work together for His glory

This situation (like all of them) is in God’s hands, not mine. This is another trial to pull me closer to Him and teach me to rely on Him completely. I’m feeling the need to schedule time to really sit down and focus on my reading and studying. God is really all I need. It’s time to give Him more of my attention.

Dear Lord,
Thank you for these trials, even though I sometimes curse them. Thank you for your patience when I curse them. Thank you for pushing me to the point where I finally just have to say “Enough already!” Thank you for giving me hope and thoughts that strengthen me. Thank you for life. Thank you for joy. Thank you for allowing me to appreciate. Thank you for serenity in the midst of the chaos. Thank you for the ability to move forward. Thank you for showing me what can be changed and what must stay as it is. Thank you for leading me through it all. Thank you for pulling me closer to you. Thank you for the long winding road in which I’m standing in the middle. Thank you for the ability to feel gratitude to you. Thank you for an open, growing, understanding heart. Thank you.
Love,
Your daughter

seems to be helping SO MUCH!

No matter what’s happening, I have so much to be grateful for each day, each moment. The more I focus on these blessings, the more I find myself realizing more to be grateful for. God’s constant protection and supply…such amazing individuals who actively bring joy to my life…opportunities to enjoy beautiful views, sounds, etc. Thoughts like these make me smile and bring tears to my eyes. I’m beginning to understand the truth and importance in being grateful “for the good already received”. With each gratitude, it seems I’m “receiving” more to be grateful for.

To quote Mary Baker Eddy,”Trials are proofs of God’s care.”

Apparently, I have been in need of more proof than I ever realized.

Trials are coming out the wazoo. I’ve gotten pretty frustrated lately, and yes, I’m realizing that my lack of trust at times – or perhaps, lack of understanding – is what causes this frustration. I want so badly to be in control of situations. It’s so easy to trust when times are good and takes so much more understanding when times are – seemingly – bad. It’s even easier when times are good to “forget” that we aren’t the reason for that. Still, when answers are no longer clear to me, I find myself turning tiredly to my Father-Mother, whose gentle guidance has been awaiting my attention.

Father, please allow me to, in humble obedience to you, gratefully acknowledge all of your wonderful works, remembering that you are in full control of each and every situation, and that you forever guard and guide me through your love and strength. With a love that I am just beginning to understand, I am thankful for your patience and compassion. Your daughter…K

Over the weekend I realized how much I’ve been doubting myself, my abilities…and fear that doubting in these areas is not trusting in God.

There is truly no reason to doubt. I’m working to remember this and trust that God knows where I should be, He’s directing me, and if I am doing something He needs me to do and listening to Him, there is no way I can fail – He won’t allow it! :)

I made a comment to a close friend the other day and this gave me a better perspective. I told him, “I don’t look good on paper. That’s what I’m afraid of.” I then realized how that sounded and how meaningless the appearance of looking good “on paper” is when we consider ourselves in terms of the divine. As all-power, there is never a circumstance or moment out of God’s control. He doesn’t care how I look “on paper” because He knows the real me, and that I am perfectly qualified for what He needs me to do.

Trying to trust that God knows what He is doing. I certainly can’t understand the reasoning. It’s apparently way beyond my capacity.

My aunt just passed away rather abruptly, after fighting lung cancer. She never smoked a day in her life. And people still think secondhand smoke is a joke. It’s not.

She was like a second mother to me. She leaves behind her husband of 32 years and two children. And a whole bunch of us who still didn’t get enough time with her and her sassy self.

Looking at the quote on this page…
“If you cannot be grateful for what you have received, then be thankful for what you have been spared.”
What is this supposed to mean to me?

The only part of this that’s reassuring is she is no longer in pain. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for her family. I just pray to know that God is comforting them.

I have been reading The Purpose-Driven Life at the suggestion of a friend. Today I read about surrendering to God, and the way that was phrased stuck with me. Surrender. As the author mentioned, that word usually has a very negative connotation. However, the way it was explained made a lot of sense, and got me thinking. We all must surrender at some point. Isn’t it best to surrender to God? If we need to be vulnerable, doesn’t it make sense to offer that vulnerability to the source of all love and all strength? Seems like a perfect combination.

We all get frustrated at situations and sometimes want to give up. Surrendering to God doesn’t mean giving up. It’s better than giving up. It means acknowledging God’s power and God’s control. No matter what size load we’re carrying, it’s always lighter when we turn and listen to the One who’s in control. Surrendering to God means openly accepting His guidance and His outcomes. I know that He (as infinite Mind) thinks everything through much better than I do, and considers with a lot more wisdom than I do, so why do I dare argue with Him by worrying or trying to “do it all on my own”?

Something to think about.

When I got into my car this morning to go to work, I suddenly felt this really sharp pain in my knee and couldn’t move it (bend or otherwise) without it hurting. After a few seconds of cringing from pain, I began to pray and simply know that God is the source of my health and strength and this pain that I was feeling was not necessary. Within a couple of seconds the pain subsided and I am again able to walk and move freely. It may sound like a very quick healing (and it was), but I think acknowledging each experience such as this, and recording them is an important part of healing. I am grateful for this experience and the freedom that comes from trusting God.

While I initially had this under ‘discover my life purpose’, it all really has to do with trusting God.

1) Discover God’s purpose for me.
2) Live it joyfully and lovingly.

Contrary to many of the ideas I am bombarded with on a daily basis, life is not about me and what I want. It’s about God and what God has planned. I’m working to know and understand this more deeply, to listen and wait patiently to find out my part in His plan. I’m studying (though I can always do more) to learn – there is so much to learn – about God, our relationship and how my existence contributes to His plan.

What I do know so far: God is All. God is good, perfect, and all power. Therefore, good is all. As a child of God, I exist to reflect Him – Life, Truth, Love, Spirit, Soul, Mind, Principle – those perfect qualities. How? Each day is a journey to find out. There’s a chance my purpose may, in fact, be as “simple” as that.

I read something a few months ago and jotted down this note to myself that I keep on my desk to remind me:
Humility + flexibility + expectancy of good = ready for progress

God determines how much I need to know and when. He will continue to direct my path and I need to not question it, but trust in Him.

It’s not about me, it’s about Him. <—good to remember

I don’t know if this is a goal that will ever be complete. This is a constant journey with trials to prove God’s care. I am trying hard to remember that.

I’m also trying to focus on this idea:
“Not my will, but THY will be done, Father. I trust that you know what is best and you have a wonderful plan that includes me.”

My trial is this: Yet ANOTHER of my friends got engaged and set a wedding date – this one is 9 years younger than me. I am 30 and have never been married. I always find the guy who just cannot commit. This morning I just felt so OVER the fact that everyone around me is getting married and having babies and I’m still by myself. Don’t get me wrong – I am happy for them. I just can’t help but wonder…when will it be my turn? I’m not lonely, I just always feel like that part of my life is forever in a holding pattern.

Yes, I know…and I can’t stand the statement “things can always be worse.” Things can always be better, too. This is not the only issue I have, but it’s the one that’s foremost on my mind today. The only thing I’ve ever truly wanted was to find the love of my life, marry him and have a family.

Maybe this will happen, maybe it won’t (obviously, I really hope it does). But I am striving to wait patiently on my Father-Mother God, to direct my path. I am focusing on the ideas of God guarding and guiding those around me and guarding and guiding me. It’s true – if/when it is to happen, I want it to be RIGHT and GOOD. Perhaps there is something more I need to learn or do in life. Perhaps God is simply drawing me closer to Him.