Beat my depression

I finally found a doctor I like and actually opened up to her about the fact that I wasn’t feeling any effect with the dosage I was on for my meds. She decided to try upping it from 20mg a day to 30mg a day. She gave me a huge refill of my prescription and I’m supposed to see her in a month to see if there’s been any change.

Here’s hoping…

Wish me luck.

I’m beginning to feel like this is never going to happen. I was doing ok when I first started school, especially since we had only lost John a month earlier, and then I had that break down and was in the hospital for a week, and ever since I barely have the will to get out of bed in the morning.

I dropped another huge handful of goals today because everytime I looked at the list I got so overwhelmed. There’s so much I told myself I could do when I started here and now almost everything centers around getting better. Losing weight, exercising, sleeping better, getting over things… nothing but steps towards my mental health improving. If it ever does.

Part of the reason my depression overwhelms me so often is that I try to do too much. So today I pulled 12 goals, limiting myself to 30 acheivable goals. I have to pace myself, otherwise I’ll just start falling again.

I’ve been on Citalopram for almost a month. It’s supposed to start having affects within 4-6 weeks and I can’t say that I’m feeling anything obvious. Mum says I’m dealing with people better, so I’ll have to take her word for it.

I also start going to an everning group therapy session once a week starting on the 22nd, and the therapist I was talking to about the sessions also wants to get me in for one on one sessions for at least a month.

I’m inching slowly away from the mess my brain is in. I just hope I can keep it up.