weigh 120 pounds

Its been what? a year now? Such a horrible year- i’ve been so depressed. With my grandma’s first death anniversary coming up soon i started wondering what i was doing this time last year and somehow came to want to loose weight again.

I totally derailed and im now at 146- though not for long! Got to find more motivation, even if its fake. I need something to strive for (hopefully health, since seeing what i used to eat i find myself disgusted) Still, i sometimes hit all time lows and im so tempted to just throw up, but i’ve only gotten so far as to going to the bathroom and trying to stick my finger down but i can never finish- sucks having a conscience (besides, my teeth are pretty, i dont want to ruin one of the only things i like about myself)

I have to find a solution- any solution- to take my mind off the most important matter : i miss her.

im pretty happy to say i havent gained weight! im 130 now, no i’ve actually lost 2 lbs! and i havent been going to the gym, just watching what i choose to eat. Hopefully during midyear vacations i start workin on my goal again

this was supposed to be my final day, but it has all been postponed. My grandma died on monday, and things have been hectic since then. Im possibly not going to write what i eat or go to the gym for a while, though im gonna try not to gain all the weight I’ve lost.

Weight: 132 lbs

Hopefully, i’ll continue the journey towards 120 sometime soon.

cant really type much.

fish.200
piruline- 510
bread n cheese- 200
popsicle- 150
random candy- 100

total: 1160

• breakfast: one brownie (125 cal)
• lunch : soup with rice (175 cal) two fruit roll (100cal)
• dinner: pizza slice 187 cal
• idk when: some pistachios (50 cal) cookie (75)

total: 712

weigh: 134

• breakfast: pita bread (74 cal) 2 slice cheese (120)
• lunch: corn tortilla (125 cal)
• snack: doritos 160 cal
• dinner: tortilla (100 cal) chickpeas (150)
• oops: gummy worms (325 cal) fruit roll (50 cal) brownie (150 cal)
  total: 1254
  ..damn. The whole situation with my grands is really botherin me

• breakfast: half a 100 cal cookie pack -50cal
  60 min gym
• post-breakfast: one fruit roll 50 cal
• lunch: fish fingers and a lil mashed potato 300 cal
• snack: fruit roll 50 cal
• dinner: cheese balls 136 cal leftover mashed potato 77

total: 663 cal

• breakfast : oatmeal cookie 60 cal
• lunch: half bowl of soup with rice 130 cal
• snack: one chocolate wafer 26 cal one almond chocolate 15 cal
• dinner: cheese balls 409 cal

total = 640 cal

• breakfast: half a 100 cal cookie pack (50 cal)
• Lunch : an ice cream sandwhich 110 cal
• hospital : one dorito, juice, chewing gum, a fun size crunchie… 400 cal
  total: 560 cal

• Breakfast: juice (100) one small bread (100)
• snack: one garlic bread (170) some candy (80)
• Lunch: some fries at hard rock cafe (300 cal) one 100 cal cadbury thin

total: 850