be truly content with myself.

I don’t know how exactly this relates to being content with myself. However, i despise being late for work. I’ve been late every day this summer. The worst part being that i work for my dad. So i really should have a tad more respect. However, i keep thinking that maybe if i actually did something productive and worldy at work, i’d want to come in early. But then i think i’m just deluding myself. I’m late. Simple as that. I’m late to everything. I just DESPISE being late for work. It gives such a bad impression of me to the other workers.

I am so tired of feeling so worthless all the time. And it’s not even worthless like i should die or that i’m useless to the world. I know my effect on my family and friends. But what’s my effect on me? That sounds wierd. But really… i want to love the way i look in the mirror. Full body and all. I don’t want to be so scared of looking in full-length mirrors. If i’m not scared about the rest of the world seeing me, why am i so scared of seeing my own reflection? I drive myself crazy. Sometimes… i just question everything about myself. Like whether or not i’ll get rid of my baby fat. Whether or not i’ll actually get into medical school. Actually, i’m worried that i won’t even finish my first four years in university. I’m just so scared that i have all these dreams but i’m not good enough to accomplish them. It makes me sad… thinking about me. I want to be happy with myself.