find peace within the things that terrify me

i can’t even begin to count how many books on zen, taoism and buddhism that i’ve read in an attempt to make peace with the unknown—to live in the here and now and free my mind from all of the things that serve no greater purpose. but books cannot work miracles, i have to be open to their suggestions, i have to be ready for them, i have to be awake and fully aware. i used to deal with the things that terrify me by ignoring them, not allowing them to become thoughts for more than a split second here and there, but then i started to think that avoidance was a pretty pathetic tactic. i need to build physical and spiritual fortitude to deal with all of the things that i’d rather just run away from.