be a better lover

And not expecting it to be “all about me.”

This is a big change we’re adjusting to, a big change I am a bit more excited about than he is. One of his fears is that he’s somehow expendable in this process, that his part in it is done and now it will just be all the women (and eventually the baby) in the red tent and he’ll be shut out. We need to nip that fear in the bud: both by keeping him in the emotional intimacy loop, and also by keeping him involved in the babymaking process all along, leaning on him, and helping him to see that I couldn’t do this without him!

I laid with him until he fell asleep. He seemed to really appreciate it.

Yesterday I set down the riveting solitaire game I was playing on his iPod and went to read to him while he took a bath. I didn’t really feel like it, since there isn’t really any comfortable place to sit in the bathroom… but I was grateful that he told me something I could do for him and gave me an opportunity to dote on him.

I know he has more anxiety than I do about all the changes this pregnancy might bring, so I feel like he needs a little extra love especially right now.

But I think I’m doing a great job with this lately. Last night he told me he was grateful for how flexible and accommodating and supportive I’ve been about his pursuit of certain passions and dreams.

He said he can really feel how much I love him. I’m glad I’ve made him feel so secure in my love.

... now that’s a step in the right direction!

So, despite my good intentions, I haven’t been able to dote on him as much as I would have liked to.

Now that we have been together for a while, I’d rather not assume that being with a hottie such as myself is its own reward. I’ve spent a lot of time and energy on myself lately, which is great: pursuing my own unfulfilled dreams for my career, creativity, sexuality, and so on. It feels like it’s time to bring it back home and put a little extra effort into pleasing him and doing nice things for him: being his lover again.