Live in gratitude & be happy even if the rest of the things on this list never happen

... while pumping breastmilk in a small windowless room at work, has made many random moments of my life more fun and/or productive.

Last week I was having lunch with an older lady friend, and someone asked her if I was her daughter. She said yes. Then she whispered conspiratorially to me that she just thought it would be fun to say that.

I have been thinking about the mothering in my life a lot since my own mother passed away this summer. She had been in a long slow decline for decades, even before she died. Her illness had made her bitter, and she was not herself in many subtle and not-so-subtle ways. But still, I haven’t felt a shortage of mothering in my life. The universe has been offering me a steady stream of positive mother energy from a number of wise older women. There are a few friends who pop immediately to mind, but once I started thinking about it I kept thinking of more and more women in my life who offer me lots of listening and support (sometimes a bit one-sidedly), not to mention the kind of unconditional love one might hope for from a parent.

There’s my aunt Shawn (photo here), who took me as her guest to Burning Man a few years ago.

There’s Elaine, who I met when I visited a new spiritual community a few years ago. We both took part in an exercise that resulted in her offering to pray for me every day for a month. I was so touched by the thought of a stranger offering something in such a loving and unconditional way, I broke into tears in front of a church full of strangers. Neither of us is part of that spiritual community any more, but we’ve stayed in touch ever since.

There’s Margaret, who I met on the bus. There’s another Margaret, who I met only once at a family reunion when she married into my extended family. She lives in another state and her marriage has since ended, but she keeps in close touch virtually via email and social networking. There’s a circle of 12 women from a work training and leadership retreat long ago, who have sort of adopted me as their unofficial daughter (and little Flash as their unofficial grandchild!). There’s even my boss Rita, a little more snarky on the surface, but underneath it all very mothering as well. There is the entire staff at my last job, a feminist nonprofit organization staffed entirely by older women. I might even say a few of my online/virtual friends fit into this category. Women who have been there, and are willing to freely share their wisdom and experience to help me on my journey.

They’re all such beautiful and vital and dynamic women despite (or because of) their chronological ages, that I have no fear of aging myself. I can only hope to be as fabulous as they are for decades to come.

Thanks, universe. Sometimes a girl just needs a mother (not necessarily her own).

: )

... perhaps it is a teensy bit bittersweet because chances are these will be our last moments as a two-person family—any day now we will become parents to a very needy infant!

In the meantime, I am very much enjoying the quiet intimacy we share now, just the two of us. I feel very lucky to have a partnership that feeds me so well.

That’s when I have to remind myself how well this is all going and how lucky I am to have had such a worry-free pregnancy. Everything with the baby has been completely textbook, nothing unusual there. I’ve been sleeping pretty well. And some of the symptoms I wasn’t looking forward to have never materialized, thank heavens. No hemorrhoids, yay! No stretch marks, yay! No swollen feet and hands, yay! My belly button doesn’t even look too weird.

All that PLUS a beautiful healthy baby sometime very soon! I know I have a lot to be grateful for.

With crisis in my mom’s health this week and all the hospital visits, long phone calls gathering information and passing it along to other family members, etc … we have fallen way behind on our baby preparations. Our shower is next weekend! The week after that, our baby will be full-term and could come at any time!

Today we are blowing the bugle, calling in some reinforcements to get our home organized and make space for the baby. Well, baby probably won’t take up too much space… it’s just that baby has so much stuff! I am so grateful to have friends who are so willing to come to my rescue when I start to feel like I’m against the wall.

Much has been said about how free some people feel to make intrusive or unwelcome comments about pregnant women’s bodies… So here’s a little shoutout to everyone who’s said something nice, like “beautiful belly!” or “you look cuter every time I see you!” to me in the past few days, or to any pregnant woman ever.

Thanks! I needed that.

My FaceBook network has really been coming through for me with tips and advice on baby gear, and this morning an offer of an infant carseat! While I wouldn’t buy one used, I feel perfectly comfortable taking a used one from someone I know.

Just when I started wondering how we were going to afford the big-ticket baby items like the breast pump, carseat, stroller, etc… one has showed up for me for FREE! I am so grateful to be finding ways to make this baby thing work financially, even though my partner is a student and our income is a bit limited at the moment.

Thanks, universe!

I am so grateful that we seem to be attracting the right people and circumstances, and getting everything in alignment to create the kind of birth experience we’ve been longing for. Not that we can control how it goes, but now even our backup plans look good. If we end up at a hospital, it will be with a doctor who is very sympathetic to the idea of natural birth, at a hospital with a nice low (12%) C-section rate.

Last weekend at a party I bumped into an acquaintance who is a massage therapist. She says she’s expanding her practice and would like to specialize in prenatal massage. She has taken some classes specifically on this subject, but hasn’t had much hands-on practice. Guess who’s going to be her test subject for the next few months? Hooray! Free bodywork for me, and career development for my friend.

Thanks, universe!

Also, one of our midwives is also a yoga instructor, and has invited my partner and I to come to any and all of her classes free of charge.

I am so grateful to have all these opportunities to take care of and pamper my body while it’s going through all these monumental changes.

Sure, not every single one is my style or fits perfectly, but there are enough cool things in the several grocerybags-ful that I have received from various friends and acquaintances to ensure that I’ll have plenty to wear and even look hot in the process. Thanks, friends! Thanks, universe!