Give 43 compliments to men

I told him I appreciate how focused and professional he is.

I have certainly complimented other men on appearance-related things since my last post, and probably a few on their skills or character… but I don’t remember who.

I first encountered N online, at a social/dating site. He seemed very shy and socially awkward to me. But for the last 6 months he has been working with me and several others to plan a rather ambitious event, and I have come to respect him more and more. I have seem him challenge himself to take on more visible leadership roles. Last weekend I told him about the changes I have seen in him; I said he seemed much more confident and grounded than last year. He was pleased as punch.

I complimented a coworker who is always joking with everyone. Just sitting in the cube next to him is entertaining, because I can hear how he interacts with everyone who walks past.

Yes, complimenting someone on his sense of humor is still pretty easy, like complimenting his appearance. But I am inching towards more meaningful compliments. Also I have been complimenting my partner in meaningful ways a lot more, but I’ve stopped counting him. I’m sure I complimented him already, at the beginning of this project.

This whole complimenting strangers thing is getting a little too easy! Especially in light of my last entry, in which I complimented someone’s appearance when I really wanted to compliment his spirit, I’d like to challenge myself to compliment the next 20 men on their behavior, skills, personal qualities or achievements rather than on their appearance.

Yesterday on the way home from work, my bus was overrun with a large group of men on a rare night out from their addiction recovery halfway house. They were heading to a pool hall near my house. Unfortunately the bus broke down. Naturally I got to chatting with a few of them while we waited in the stalled, unheated bus for the next bus to come. The next bus was pretty full—there certainly wasn’t room for me and the entire group of men all to get on. But they were being quite chivalrous, shouting, “make way, let the lady through!” so I could have a spot on the functioning bus. Most of the men ended up staying by the stalled bus, still waiting for a ride.

Just before my stop, I complimented one of the men who had squeezed on with me. I complimented his colorful hat. But in my heart I was really complimenting all of them on their courage, their humility, and their perseverance in changing their lives, against the odds. I wish I could have said what I really felt.

Yes, my coworkers are a fashionable bunch. Especially Stan and Charles today.

These are different coworkers than the ones who have already been complimented, mind you!

He seemed pleased to receive attention for his bracelet, and explained that, “I like it ‘cos it’s a little different.”

I complimented his sweater. He seemed so comfortable and confident that when I got started on the sweater, I couldn’t stop! I just kept going on about what I nice color it is… and I really like it… and how it brings out his eyes … and it’s so unique .. with all that assymetrical stitching … um, yea. I felt a little embarrassed.

But hey, good-looking confident guys deserve to hear positive feedback as much as anybody else does. I shouldn’t hold back just because they seem like they already know they look good.

Pictured is him at our company holiday party.

First there was a man in a Santa hat on the bus. Then there was a man out walking on the sidewalk with beautiful chocolate skin and an orange hat that just made him glow. Mmm.

I am so on a roll today! First there was the rugged unshaven man on the bus this morning with a slightly incongrous-looking, delicate scarf in bright colors. [Tangent about attractive manly men wearing feminine scarves: I was first attracted to my fling at Burning Man when I noticed him keeping the sand out of his face with a very feminine scarf. Turns out he was borrowing it from a friend.]

Then when I arrived at work I spied my coworker Mark in a bright orange sweater with adorable elbow patches. Although I could barely take my eyes off Mark’s sweater, eventually it dawned on me that Chad, the coworker he was talking to, was sporting a spectacular pair of orange pants! Ya don’t see a lot of men who are man enough to wear orange pants.