Do something new every day

I’ve spent the last few days either weeping or on the verge of it. It started with watching the last episode of “Six Feet Under.” I’d watched it on DVD from Netflix in about 7 months, and had made it without crying the whole time. A record for a chick like me.

And that night, sniffle sniffle. It was sad. I was sad. I was sad it was over. I was sad about death. I got to thinking about how short live was, and before I knew it I was crying for the world. I was crying for my son. I was crying about everything. And I cried longer than I’ve cried in the past ten years.

My husband, bless his heart, just held me and let me go snotters on him and said “Oh, Fleagirl” and hugged me and held me and didn’t laugh at all. And when I started all over again with a great hiccup and didn’t know why I was even crying he just stroked me and said it was good.

Today I found out someone who meant a lot to me when I was young-a parent’s friend-is probably dying. It didn’t hit me until hours later and I nearly started boo-hooing on the train home.

I left a message for my folks, who are visiting him in the hospital, and lost it on the message. I haven’t cried in front of them in over 15 years.

I hate to cry. And here I’ve done it in front of my son, my husband, on answering machines…and non-stop.

A first.

I’ve never seen a fat, 4-5 inch caterpillar before. These things are DISGUSTING!

On a whim I purchased a coconut. It sounds nice and sloshy. Once I get it open, what do you recommend I do with it?

Thoughts, recipes…?

There was a bomb scare outside my office window today. Very fun stuff when you work around the Federal Bldg. Read all about it: http://nicepies.blogspot.com/ .

So my sweet, do-do headed husband said he’d take over the household accounting to get us on track, get bills paid off, etc.

I’ve checked the bank account and found that he’s spent about $400 in the past two days on stuff he doesn’t need and we can’t afford. My car registration needs to be renewed. I need new tires (two of mine are bald and I drive 80 miles a day). We have to pay rent, utilities, cable, and the IRS. Car insurance. God knows what else. But I do know that we can’t take a $400 hit this pay period.

In the past I would have called him on it right away. Crabbed. Bitched. He would have blown up instantly. Angrily sulked. Thrown curses at me. Maybe knocked something over. And blamed it all on me: “Well, you went out to breakfast so I figured we were spending money we didn’t have anyway….”

This time I’m going to let him figure out how we’re paying everything. I’ll let him sleep badly at night. He can hate himself all he wants and then go do something about it. I’m going to be calm and rational, and just let him solve the problems he’s created.

My irrational anger was spiraling out of control. I heard myself getting mad at a PayPal employee because they couldn’t tell me exactly where my refund was. And by mad I mean bitchy. And shaky. And black and blue inside.

I finally realized it was never going to get better unless I admitted I had a problem with anger.

YES! I’m an angry bitch!

The book has been interesting and while I don’t know if I’m using the tactics, I am very aware of whether it’s worth getting angry in a certain situation or not. Usually the answer is…NOT.

I got a call from someone today who set me on edge. She asked for a lady who’s dead, who died years ago. Then she launched into a spiel of why I should advertise in a competitor’s publication. I told her she put her foot in mouth twice, and promptly told her how. And then I grilled her.

She responded just the way she should have: snottily. She didn’t apologize, and she was ready to throw away any possiblity of a sale. And then I realized I was being a bitch and I backed down, asking the same questions, with different words, and ended the conversation with her offering me a 25% discount on the ad space.

If I’d continued to be a bitch I would have just been given a “click” in my ear.

So, can an old bitch learn new tricks?

Like St. Patrick’s Day, Cinco de Mayo is a contrived holiday for the rest of us who don’t hail from the country of origin. Rather than go out drinking (are there other drinking holidays like these? New Year’s Eve….), I chose to make a nice dinner for my family.

I was craving carnitas, that delicioso braised pork it seems I can only get at taquerias. I’d noticed that Costco was carrying it. Only problem: Juiceboy is deep in the thick of veggiedom.

What to do? I made a vegetarian Mexi-fest.

Vegitas (fajitas minus the meat)
One yellow onion, thinly sliced.
One large red bell pepper, sliced
One Anaheim pepper (or other mildly hot pepper)

Stir fry the veggies until soft. Add one packet of fajita seasoning mix and ~1/2 cup water, simmer on low until sauce has reduced. Serve with hot tortillas, guacamole, shredded cheese.

Another meatless entree that was enjoyed by all was:

Chile Rellenos

Roast poblano peppers (the bigger the pepper, the better)
Once the skin is charred and blistered, pop in a paper bag for about 15-20 minutes. After this the skin will come off easily.
Slice down the middle to remove the seeds. I like to remove the stems and top, though this results in a floppier chile. Some restaurants serve the chile seeds and all, but I don’t recommend this, as the seeds are the hottest part of the chile and it’s just darned unpleasant to have all these little seeds marring your cheese.
Fill with the shredded cheese of your choice. I was lazy and used the pre-shredded Mexican mix from Safeway.
Top the cheese with scallions.
Bake until the cheese is melted.

I like these in a tortilla, Juiceboy ate them with a knife and fork. The Bug gave his away.

I served these two dishes with black beans, rice (Uncle Ben’s makes a really nice garlic & butter rice that I get for special occasions, otherwise I make it myself), guacamole, chopped cilantro, chopped romaine lettuce, good salsa, and sliced black olives.

Guacamole tacos are a good option too!

Went to the Diablo Magazine Women’s event last night. Asked one of the speakers—the woman who designs Macy’s I.N.C. line (which I was completely clad in, except for my shoes & underwear) if I could talk to her for a few minutes next week about apparel manufacturers (ooh, need to add that goal…). She was very nice, very open and said yes, of course. I’ll give her a call on Tuesday.

Then, chatted with a local news gal without realizing who she was until after we had shared a bitch over the cookies being gone. Eventually gave her my card. All in all, it was a good night.

Amazing for me, because I work in a male-dominated profession and am not around women much. Had not thought I’d be able to handle all the nails, hair, botox, high heels and eyelash extensions but I did just fine.

On the phone. Wierd. Juiceboy got jealous, but understandably so. Haven’t seen this guy for 16+ yrs and he lives on the other coast so…no worries for Juiceboy. Plus, I love HIM.