Practice random acts of kindness

Every day, I drive on the Garden State Parkway to and from work. In case you don’t know, NJ is not just the Garden State, we’re also the “Toll State” – every 20 miles or so, we have to pay to drive on the GSP. Rather than have to stop at the toll booth, I have an E-Z pass, which is like an electronic debit card attached to the windshield.

Well, with switching to the new car, I forgot to attach it to the windshield yesterday but out of habit, I drove thru the E-Z pass lane. Oops! Today, I decided I’d try to make good. I stopped at a regular manned (or woman-ed) toll booth and told the woman I wanted to pay my toll for yesterday. She laughed and said I couldn’t do that. I wonder why? Would I cause a crisis for someone if they came up 50 cents over in their cash drawer at the end of their shift?

But I still felt I owed NJ 50 cents. So I asked her if I could pay the toll for the car behind me. She laughed and said I could. So that’s what I did. After I drove away, in my mirror, I saw the pick up truck behind me stop then drive thru the booth very quickly so she definitely let the guy thru.

Hopefully, the driver accepted this anonymous act of kindness and will pay-it-forward in some way. He didn’t catch up to me for any kind of acknowledgement but that’s not why I did it.

I did it because I made a mistake yesterday and wanted to “right the wrong”....plus NJ needs money. :o)

Saturday I was running around – errands, a few appointments – rushing here and there. At some point, as I drove down a main road near my building heading towards the highway, I spotted one of my neighbors walking.

He is elderly, walking with a cane and was carrying a canvas bag. Clearly he was headed to do some shopping. I was in my own little world, so I kept driving, actually passing him when I suddenly said “Geez, what are you doing?”.

I drove around the block, pulled up beside him and yelled out the window “Need a ride?” He leaned over and smiled. At first, he said it was a nice day and he didn’t mind walking. I agreed it was a nice day and pointed out that he could enjoy a nice walk back home. I had to stress that it was not a problem for me to take him where he needed to go. He was walking to Target, about 1/2 mile away.

As I drove, he chatted on and on and I just smiled. Not only did I give him a ride but I also gave him someone to talk to. He said he wasn’t driving anymore (he’s 90) and couldn’t recall anyone ever stopping to picked him up before. “Really?” I said. I couldn’t believe it.
He said “Not that it didn’t happen – I just don’t remember!” Then he broke out laughing – cracked himself up. Cracked me up too.

What a nice little “commercial break” in my day.

Yesterday when I came home from work, I noticed a neighbor’s car had the headlights on. It was light out but I noticed it because we have covered parking and her lights shown on the wall. I knew the neighbor’s name but not which condo she was in. What to do, what to do?
As I walked into my building, I remembered that our intercom system is by name (the unit # doesn’t show for security reasons). I picked up the lobby phone and selected her name. Our intercom goes directly to the phone so when she didn’t answer, her machine did. I left a message that her lights were on. I figured that was all I could do.
I went upstairs, changed, then ran out again for errands. When I got off the elevator in the lobby, there was the woman I had just called!
I started to tell her about her car when she opened her arms to hug me! She got my message – she’d been in the laundry room – and immediately came down to her car. She said she’d only been home a little while but hadn’t planned on going out again. If I hadn’t called her…well, you know what would have happened.
I was so relieved that she’d gotten the message.
As they say, timing is everything.

I stopped at Boston Market for lunch today (I love when I have coupons!) and got a chopped salad with chicken. The woman ahead of me got 2 small containers of soup. When I got to the cashier, they went to put the corn bread on my tray. I thanked them but said I didn’t need it so she put it back. The soup lady asked the counter help if she got corn bread with her soup and they said no.
“Take mine” I said. The counter girl took it out of the case again.
The soup lady said “Oh no, that’s OK”. The girl put it back into the case.
“No, really, take it” I said, “I paid for it but don’t want it”. Out it came again.
This time I said “We’re confusing the poor girl behind the counter…please take the corn bread”. She did and thanked me.
When I got up to the cashier, the man took my coupon, looked at my tray and said “Would you like corn bread with that?”.
Oh no, not again….I smiled and said no thanks.

Have I not shown any kindness to strangers in 2 months…or has it become so automatic that I don’t recognize it?

These are coming very easily for me lately. So much so, that I’m often not even conscious that I’m doing it.

Yesterday, I was up at Empire City, a mini-gambling hall at Yonkers Raceway in NY. My folks needed a nice break after recent health events so I volunteered to drive (and of course, gamble!).

While at lunch in the food court, my mom pointed out a man nearby that she’d seen carefully hang his winter coat on his chair but when he sat down, it had slipped off onto the floor. When I got up to throw away my trash, I walked over, bent down behind him, politely saying “I’m not trying to steal your coat…but it’s on the floor”. He looked startled – but I’m not sure if it was because I scared him or because I picked it up! When I caught up with my folks, mom said it was a nice thing to do. I just shrugged.

Afterwards, sitting at the penny slots (big spender that I am), a woman sat next to me. She didn’t stay long. When I got up, I felt something under my foot. I picked up a small wallet-like case with an ID card and 2 Empire City cards (used to track spending for you non-gamblers). I don’t know if it belonged to that woman but I figured someone would be looking for it. I took a long, long walk over to the Security booth to turn it in. The Security Guard took my name and thanked me. Again, I just shrugged.

To me, these are things that are right to do. Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone did just one “right thing” every day?

This morning, as I rode the elevator down, a neighbor from another floor got on. She was all bundled up with a huge back-pack strapped to her back. I asked where she was off to so early (it was about 7:30am). She said she was going to catch a bus to NYC for her photography class but she’d have to rush because she was running late.

I asked her where she caught the bus and she said the bus stop was about 2 blocks away. Normally, I would have let the conversation end there but it was freezing out (27 degrees!). How could I let her hoof it?

I offered to drive her over. She looked totally shocked at my offer. I told her it was not out of my way. I had to tell her a few times until she believed me and got into the back seat of my car (so she wouldn’t have to take off the backpack).

This woman amazes me…she’s probably in her late 60’s (maybe older) and she’s so full of adventure. She travels, takes classes and lives life her way. She’s a bit eccentric by some standards but she intrigues me.

When I pulled up to the bus stop, she hopped out and gave me a squeeze on the shoulder as a thank you. What a nice way for me to start my day.

A little over a week ago, on the way home from my sisters garage sale, I stopped at Pathmark. I was so tired, my back and feet hurt (I was probably grumpy too), I just wanted to run in, grab something pre-cooked and go home to soak my feet.

As I got out of my car, I looked to the left into the car next to me and saw a little girl (maybe 2 or 3) in the back seat, in a car seat. But I didn’t see an adult. Once I got out of the car, I saw what appeared to be her grandmother walking around the car to get her out. She had the grocery cart, her purse, her canvas shopping bags – a lot to handle and she hadn’t even tried to get the kid out of the car yet. I asked if she needed help but she said no. But she did need help. I asked again and she quietly said she’d appreciate it. Great, now I just had to convince the little girl to get out of the car!

I opened the door but she wasn’t looking to thrilled about getting out. So I started to play “hide and seek” behind my hands until I got her laughing, then I quickly unbuckled her and picked her up. She had the cutest look of surprise on her face like “hey, how’d you do that?” I got her in the wagon and I walked with them into the store. I did see them once while shopping – I’m not too sure the little one was happy to see me but grandma gave me a wave!

I went to Yonkers Raceway (in NY) today where they have a casino. It’s not like the lavish casinos of Atlantic City or Las Vegas but it’s very nice. I take my folks every few months(I’m a gambler at heart, but not in wallet).
Coming home, we sat in traffic: several major roads heading toward the George Washington Bridge (back to NJ), merging into 2 lanes. From a distance, I saw someone sitting on the curb of the left lane. A very disheveled man, dirty clothes and hair with a card board sign – “Homeless and Hungry”.
From what I could see, he was being ignored. It’s not like you could miss him. I got such an ache in my heart seeing that. I scrambled into my pocket and pulled out a few dollars and some change. I rolled down my window and he got up. As I put the money in his small bucket, he said “Bless you”. He’s blessing me? Wow. As I moved forward, I looked in my mirror. I saw he was still standing and the drivers of at least 2 other cars had an arm out the window with money to give him. I don’t know if they were doing it because they saw me do it, but I’d like to think maybe it was….and that he got enough $$ for a good meal tonight.

Last night, I went to the chiropractor (I go twice a week). When I arrived, there was 1 person in the office and another ahead of me, which meant at least a 20 minute wait. I spent that time on my cell outside (the office is attached to the Dr’s house). While out there, 2 other people arrived. I popped my head into the waiting room and told them, that if I was still outside, they could go ahead of me. “You sure?” – “Yep” I said. They both thanked me.

I spent about 45 minutes outside before going in. When I sat down, I was the only one there so I started reading (I always have a book…this time: Gone With The Wind). Another person came in and within 10 minutes, the Dr. came out. I told the woman to go ahead in. She looked at me and said “This is the 3rd time you’ve let me go ahead when we’re here together”. The person coming out of the office, said “She let me go ahead of her too! Don’t you WANT to go in?”. We all laughed – especially the doctor. I said that I didn’t mind waiting and I enjoy the quiet-time, sitting and reading.

It’s true. I let others go ahead of me often in this office. It’s an easy thing to do for others. So many people seem to be in a rush but for me, since I usually go at the end of my day, it’s a nice way to unwind and relax before heading home. So I guess I’m being kind to myself as well as others…..