Step out of my comfort zone

I’ve continued to participate in the exercise classes at the woman’s gym and I’m enjoying pushing myself.

On Sunday, rather than take the class, I spent 45 minutes on the treadmill which is twice as long as I normally would commit to. I thought if I was going to stay on it longer, I would also try something different – running. I’ve never been good at “fast locomoting”, probably because of all of the weight I always carried. I’ve always been very uncoordinated and slow moving. Or so those “safe” voices tell me.

I increased the speed on the treadmill until I had no choice but to run and then I ran for 1 minute. The first 2 times I did it, the negative voices in my head were busy: what are you doing? you can’t run! Like a movie trailer, I saw myself tripping, flying off the treaadmill and breaking something. But guess what happened? Nothing. Other than being winded, I didn’t fall, I didn’t hurt myself.

I think the negative voices got the point because I went on to run 4 more times and they didn’t say a word. What a rush…I can run.

I’ve learned in the last year that even though I don’t mind exercising, my mind has a habit of stopping my body from pushing itself. If my mind says “you’ve had enough”, I stop. I realize I need someone else to be in charge of my body.

Last week, I got a 7-day pass to a woman’s only gym and I went to 4 different classes this week. Track, cardio, ball and Pilates. I’m happy to say I didn’t quit. I pushed myself, even if I wasn’t comfortable. During a step/dance exercise, I must have said “I can’t do this” outloud because the instructor said “Yeah, you can – and you are”. Everyone heard because she had her little microphone on….I sure couldn’t quit after that!

Last night, I did Pilates for the first time. My mind was fighting it – in my head I heard “you can’t sit up, your legs are weak” – but my body wasn’t listening. My body was doing (or trying to do) what the instructor was telling it to do – not me. Just what I was hoping for.

This entry could go under a few different goals but the end result of it is that my physical comfort zone is expanding. My body is learning it can do things my mind never thought it could do.
Here’s hoping someday my mind will take the lead.

I was recently asked to list what qualities I admired in others and ask myself if I had those qualities – and if not, why not. This is not usually something I’m comfortable with – finding the right words or even putting my feelings on paper.

I did come up with some: honesty, sense of humor, self-awareness, and sincerity to start. I believe I have some of these (some more than others) and now I have to write about it.

Thinking about my list, I asked a friend to give me 3 words to describe me. I guess to test my view of myself – and maybe my friendship? I braced myself for his responses. Would I agree? Would I understand – or accept – what he saw in me?

He replied almost immediately with the first word: sincere. I liked that one. It was on my list too and is a positive description. So far so good.

After some thought, he said the second word was obstinant. I laughed at that but agreed. I’m a Taurus – can you say stubborn? But I’d like to think I’m becoming more open to other people’s ideas or ways of doing things. I’ll give this more thought.

He struggled with the 3rd word. That worried me. Finally he said “promising”.

Perfect.

but I know it’s time to “step out” of it.

A friend recently said to me that he was amazed at how fearless I’ve become. I wasn’t sure what that meant. Me – fearless? I always associated being fearless with being reckless. I am so NOT reckless -I am methodical, everything planned, nothing taken for granted – therefore, nothing risked…

My fears, real or imagined, have stopped me from living the life I dream of. It’s time to start looking at my fears and work thru them. Some are basic and some go deep but if I don’t address them, I can’t get rid of them. And if I can’t get rid of them, at least I can work on them (fear of drowning? Become a more confident swimmer).

I have a magnet on my fridge of Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote…”We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face… we must do that which we think we cannot”.

It’s time I listened.