I want to be a better mom

I hate looking at this goal. I think a mom is a mom and we all do the very best that we can in our own way.
It’s not like I can start over. It’s not like they are….. heathens…. at least not most of the time.

I would definately have to step it up a knotch or two if I were to actually meet a nice man. They would scare him off… Bey Bey’s kids and all….

If they could just not fight SO MUCH. Omigosh!! I want to kick them all out at times… “get the F!! out of my house”!!!

I have (so far- week number 2) quit drinking during the week. They are the ones to drive me to it, I’m thinking.

My youngest is doing better on his homework (he says)- we’ll see.

My middle one spent last year with his dad in another state (BAD BAD BAD MISTAKE)- came back swearing like a sailor and a little pot head. Just great!! His attitude is that of his dad’s also. That one freaks me out most days. At times I have flash backs and just want to curl up in my bed in the fetal position and suck my thumb til the day is over!!

This is his senior year. He fights me almost EVERY SINGLE DAY just to go to school!! That is exhausting! Does NOT start my day out.

He also thinks I am not the best parent as he has to step in and try and help me continually (like I am not there) and this just causes MORE fighting and it drives me crazy.

Ahhhh!!! I think at times I just want to run away!!

This I think is a life long process!! I have moved the younger kids into their own room to share away from the teenagers who now have their own room in hopes of cutting down on some of this fighting. It appears that the younger ones -while A) love the new room and change are B) fighting more between the two of them!! Aaahhh such is life.

I am also going to look into putting them into the Boys and Girls club after school so that they can play and hang out and do things besides sit here antagonize their older brother, watch t.v. and bascially get nothing accomplished except to make a mess.

It’s not like they do any homework or chores while I’m not here and I get so many “tattle” phone calls that it drives me crazy. I am looking in on it today and hopefully I can afford it and they can start Monday-

Tues would be Aaron’s group so that is the only day for them to stay home.

They have the weekend with their dad this weekend, which is good since I have to work in the a.m.- And I haven’t had a break since they got back from MN. Their dad got back last week and I thought he would take them then…. but they had too much unpacking to do and had to “settle in”. So now it should be every other weekend again and I will get a bit of a break!

Well, lately the kids have NOT been getting along at all. It centers around my youngest with ADHD. He and one of his sisters, he and his older brother. Agh!!!
@#$%!! DRIVES ME CRAZY!!!!

Sooo…. last night at the store I found this kids coupon book. It was just sitting there in the wrong spot. There were some REALLY cool things in it that my youngest kiddos would LOOOOOVE that mom HATES so they never get to do them. (Like the movies. I hate going to the movies. I’d much rather wait until it comes out and watch it on DVD. I can pause it, I can cry in private, I can pee when I need to blah, blah blah)

So I bought it and told them… when I catch them getting along “out of the blue” they can look thru it and pick one.

After I see that it works I will have to make rules, I realize, but just for now I want to see if there is ANYTHING at all that is going to help!!

Some of the cool things that my kids would love were like build a tent in the back yard. Go out to the movies. A sleep over with friends. Choose what they want for dinner (top ramen blah!!!). Have a scoop of icecream with their breakfast. Have mom be a chauffer (yuk) to a place and back. There were tons of stuff.

I told them they have to make an effort because I will have to make an effort in providing the reward. I hope it works.

The principal at school suggested some kind of reward system. I’m all for just screaming and yelling and beating (figuratively speaking), but obviously it is not working with my youngest. So different tactics are required here!!

Aahhh the joys of motherhood…......

I also have plans for other parenting classes for the future after the “parenting with ADHD”. One at a time tho. I have taken plenty before, but it has been a long while so time for a refresher I guess!!!

I signed up for is a “parenting kids with ADHD” It starts in a couple of weeks. I think this will help me out.

I am having a hard time with this child of mine!!

My boyfriend is going to go also so that will be a big help- that we will hopefully be on the same page with the discipline thing!!

Im not big on medication- especially for kids, but my third son is ADHD. What a stereotype!! They tried to label my other two son like that but I knew they weren’t, but this one. Whew it really disrupts the whole household and he was almost kicked out of GRADESCHOOL!!! So we are working on meds to see which is best and we have a “behaveral coach” coming to the house once a week and also to the school once a week. So far (after the third meeting) I finally got some good advice from her that I can try and use.

I have been very very stressed about my home life lately and she is going to start working with me first. Consistancy (huh?) and structure, goals and consequence because I (ME) am the head of this household NOT THEM!!!!

So…. here we go….. this is a big step for me. I know this will take time! G

I bought a yoga magazine and discovered what a family thing this can be. The love to exercise too.

Also my 16 year old went to live with his dad for a year. It was very hard for me to agree, one of the most difficult decisions I’ve had to make, but he really needs a man about now and was getting a little difficult and affecting the whole family. This will give me some girl time with his twin sister and maybe some “less stressful” time with the two younger ones.

I love him and I miss him sooo much, but I think it is really in his best interest. Even if his dad doesn’t really step up to the plate, he has a really great step mom that loves him and has his best interests in mind so he still has a female influence around!!

G

Well, that didn’t work out so well. I was trying to be so positive about it. Dad wasn’t so great. My son came home 4 months early. Funny I think his dad and step mom (who really isn’t so great afterall- bummer) were glad that he decided to stay on their spring break visit here.

I think he has a new appriciation for me (his mother) and that is good. He is having somewhat of a hard time re-adjusting with this VERY busy household. There- it was three of them (two adults) boring, quiet. Here there are 5 of us and then some, not including my middle son in a three bedroom. It’s not so quiet here. But I am so very glad he is home!