eat healthily

have been quite challenging eating-wise. The negative aspect of the situation is that I binged on sugary stuff on several isolated occasions. The positive aspects are that, firstly, I never let it run over into the next day, secondly I didn’t let it affect my exercise regime and lastly I’ve learnt that the reason I was probably doing that is because I wasn’t eating enough in general. Now I’m eating a little more at each meal and feeling the benefit- no craving sweet stuff at all, and my energy levels have increased too. It’s all about balance…

What’s interesting is that, whereas before I wouldn’t be able to learn from my mistakes in terms of the binging because I just said “f* it!” and screwed up the whole thing until months later I’m now much more stable and feel in control, trusting myself to forgive and forget. I’ve also noticed I’m more realistic- as long as I’m not overeating on any particular day, I don’t have to stress about how much I’ve eaten.

but I’ve decided not to dissect what went wrong so I’m just putting it behind me now. At least I did some exercise on both days so I didn’t slob out AND eat badly.

I have to keep reminding myself that I’m not automatically going to put on weight overnight by overeating on one or two days!!

The past two days have been difficult. I’ve suceeded in staying on track with regards to eating in a balanced way, but it’s been hard.

The weather is god-awful here at the moment- all rainy and drizzly and cold and to top it off, I’m feeling more depressed than usual because I’m on my period. Today I overcame my first (relatively) strong urge to binge because I was alone in the house and feeling bored and tired and lonely.

Fortunately I made it through the day with only a coffee and a sugar free banana muffin as extra, and I still made it down to the gym for my 50 mins.

I think that counts as an achievement…sigh.

One of the hardest challenges to my healthy eating patterns is when people graze all day long, and also in a social situation where there is a buffet or meal with tons of enticing food laid out. For the past five years every single time I’ve been able to establish a healthy eating pattern for myself, I’ve landed up in difficulty after encountering these situations…often it results in not being able to get my eating back on a balanced rhythm at all, and at best it has caused overaeting until I feel sick everyday for several weeks.

Consequently, I was nervous about going to my friend’s birthday picnic because I was about to be faced with BOTH of my most challenging situations: an all-day picnic where there was tons of food for people to eat over several hours…

When I saw the food I got the normal panicky feelings which instantly gave way to the “rush” that junkies get as the temptation of eating without constraint began to tug at me. I managed to lower my anxiety level and ate a sensible amount. Back at the house there was further challenges as it was all laid out on the table indoors, but when I listened to the sensible voice in my head I realised it wasn’t really that exciting and that I could manage just fine with eating a little bit to tide me over on my journey home.

And so I made it!

I also found it easy (despite an inital knee-jerk reaction) to avoid buying chocolate when I waited for my train. When I got home there was a real trigger because I’d been stressed from my journey (long story!) and also eaten hardly anything whilst travelling so I did allow myself a dessert AND a chocolate bar after my tea that night but all in all I don’t think I ate too many calories that day, so all is good.

I feel really proud of myself for finally getting over these triggering situations and also for not beating myself up over eating more sweet things than I would on the night I returned home. I also succeeded in returning to the normal routine of healthy eating and gym today too, which has also never happened before.

I feel so much stronger and capable! I finally feel like there is an end to what has been a long struggle with eating disorders. Yay!

I love eating healthy foods and being vegan, I enjoy eating a wide range of vegetables, wholegrains and pulses. But although in theory this should be a relatively easy goal for me and people probably think I eat fine anyway, the truth is I don’t. The past year has been full of missing mealtimes or overeating when I wasn’t hungry and- worst of all- binge eating in the evening. The latter is an issue I’ve had for about 5 years and I know why it happens but the time when I feel I am motivated and ‘ready’ to do something about it only seems to come around once every year! Two years ago I got myself eating in a really healthy and balanced way, doing exercise too, but when I moved to a different part of the country the stress resulting from the changes just sent me over the edge.

In the past three weeks I’ve had exams and for a while totally lost my appetite. Although it’s back now I’ve finished and I’m eating in a very balanced way, it just gave me the start I needed.

My goal is to continue eating the varied, balanced vegan diet I’ve established whilst trying out new recipes to keep my interest up. I’m learning that if I want to avoid the evening binges on sweet stuff I need to nip sweet cravings in the bud by having an acceptable portion of what I fancy, or even better (if the opportunity arises) substituting a “bad” dessert for a macrobiotic one without the processed sugar and margarine that vegan versions often contain. I’m also reducing my portions and doing 30mins of
cardio exercise a day because I want to lose (overall) about a stone and a half (9.5 kilos).