be a better girlfriend

He’s been getting very jealous and (over) protective recently. It’s driving me a bit mad. Apparently I’m going on a health kick because I want to look good for other men. Apparently I will leave him if he doesn’t lose weight.
Apparently I’m only friends with guys because I’m trying to find someone with whom to run off.
Insecurity is really not an attractive trait.
We were out shopping a few weeks ago and I picked up a jumper I thought would suit him in a size ‘large’. Goodness what a mistake. He’s now a ‘medium’ and I never noticed. A good few hours of apology had to happen to make up for the sulk that followed.
After a night out he’ll ask if anyone hit on me. Why ask? If I lie and say ‘no’ he won’t believe me and say I’m hiding things from him, if I say yes I’ll never hear the end of it. Obviously it’s my fault that he doesn’t trust me. Maybe I need to get better at lying. Would that make me a better girlfriend?
It’s easy to get annoyed at him. I need to try and see the positives of being in a relationship with someone who loves me completely even if they are in a different country. If someone doesn’t trust you it’s easy to think – ‘well if they don’t trust me anyway I might as well be untrustworthy’. I’ve been good, it’s okay. I couldn’t do that to him. I want to be in a relationship.
I’m still allowed to appreciate male attention though, right?

Just had an amazing week and a half with my boyfriend. A few petty arguments (not seeing each other for months then seeing each other every second of the day is a big leap!).
Loved it. Love him. And I think I behaved myself.

Not doing well at this, yet not failing in it either.
I need to pay more attention to him – reminding myself that he’s only really got a few friends who he rarely sees, work, and me, while I have a large friendship group along with university.

He’s still overly protective of me regarding male friendships, should I distance myself drom them a bit or just let him be protective and carry on with my friends as I am?

Seeing him in less than two weeks! :). But ugh I’m going to have to get him something to valentines. I asked him if we could just NOT do presents/celebrate it but he said he wanted to damn him.

I’ve been trying to make more of an effort to show I still care about him even though I’m on the other side of the country. I’m back in the same city now yet not seeing him until Wednesday. I wanted to see him this evening but apparently something came up and he couldn’t see me even for a few hours. He’s been off with me for a while – phone conversations are often cut short and he never rings me anymore.

Does he want to make the effort to be with me? If he doesn’t I’d rather he said something sooner rather than later – we might be able to sort it out, or at least get things out in the open. It’s always been an issue with him not telling me how he feels. I’ve been brought up to tell someone if I’m upset or annoyed straight away. I like to talk it (or argue it) something through and then get over it and move on. He dislikes confrontations and prefers to keeps things hidden until eventually I’ll question him and find all his pent up emotion, he doesn’t just let things go.

I’m going to talk to him on Wednesday, when I’m supposed to be next seeing him, and try to find out what’s wrong. I hope it’s something we can sort out. It just needs to be more of a “we” than “me” trying to hold the relationship together at the moment.

Everything I do or say the last few days has just made him annoyed or upset at me. I’ve been trying hard to be considerate of his stress levels – I know because it’s Christmas time his work is going to be taxing – but I just can’t seem to do anything right.

I’ve been revising the last few weeks and tonight I decided to have a night off to go out with a few friends after my exam. Told boyfriend where I was going, didn’t drink (stopped drinking when I’m not with him except for occasional wine with dinner or a social cocktail). I had such a great night; I haven’t been out with friends in a long time. I rang him when I left, early, just after midnight as I knew he wouldn’t be home from work.

He was annoyed at me. He said how irresponsible it was to be up late when I had revision to do. Maybe it was.
He was annoyed at me for a phone call earlier in the day when I couldn’t speak long. He said he was busy so not to call back, but maybe I should have anyway?

I wish that our conversation tonight hadn’t put a damper on my otherwise lovely evening. Even more I wish I hadn’t upset him unintentionally. I just need to remember how much stress he must be under, and how it must be hard to know I’m enjoying myself when he’s so far away.

Can’t wait until next week when I see him again, I hope I can make him realise how much I do care about him and take his mind off of work for a bit.

I made a comment to him over the phone last night that over Christmas one of my male friends from university might be coming to visit for a day or two.

He became sulky and jealous. I suggested I could make sure that the three of us were always hanging out together if it made him feel more comfortable. However this made things worse and he said he didn’t want to waste his day’s off work with ‘him’. I suggested I’d arrange it for a day when he is working then, so he’d still get to just see me on his days off. It didn’t pacify him.

He continued to sulk for the rest of the phone call – mumbling about how my friend obviously saw me as more than that, and why did he have to visit anyway because he got to see me in term time. Argh.

They’ve met before and always been amiable to each other even though they’re very different people.

I really can see where he’s coming from, it’s just hard to know what to do about it. I feel like a bad girlfriend but I don’t want to stop seeing friends just because he doesn’t want me to. It’s not even definite that my friend’s coming to visit.

Would I have a problem if it was the other way around? Maybe. But I would have agreed to meet up with them together and therefore erase any feelings of jealousy.

I sent him some home-made biscuits with the container decorated and interspersed with little notes that he’ll find as he eats them, along with a letter, and a photograph of the two of us the last time we were together. He said it was a lovely surprise to find when he got home.
Not something I’ll be doing regularly, but hopefully something little that cheered him up.

I don’t always think that I show him how much I care about him, I know that I nag too much and should try to keep my mouth shut about the little things especially when it’s really not aimed at him. I think this is especially important because we’re in a long distance relationship and have been through some difficult times (though hasn’t everyone?). I want him to know that I love him, and not have continual doubts.
I’ll try.