OK so for some reason i’m overly emotional and mad at the moment. Like i really just want to argue with someone. And it is Pms week, but maybe i know this and am therefore letting myself be more grumpy and Miserable. I really am. And i’m so god damn sick of guys. Not there are any in my god damn life. As much as i want to sit around and wait for one, i really want to cuddle! :( and i have mucho guys i could call for that, but it’s just not the same as having a boyfriend. SO my options include New york boy, gym buddy, and work love of my life. Basically i really like all three of them, but there is something wrong with all of them. ugh. NY boy is overly obsessed with getting famous and has an ex girlfriend who is constantly coming back…he also happens to be the all time best cuddler/kisser. And anytime i hang out with him i can’t think straight for days. I know def a good/Awful thing. Then gym buddy is very reliable, almost the guy version of me. Has his ish in order. Car, job, into working out, we have great conversations, and seems like 100% would be a great boyfriend. Downside= aprox 2 years hooked up with and slept with one of my friends. She doesn’t want anything to do with him and doesn’t like him. But he texts her a lot. I know that he definitely likes me, but why is he texting both of us? And she tells me everything, is he really THAT dumb. I know, i’m dumb for not dumping him…But i really don’t like him that much so it doesn’t bother me. I just feel like he fits my criteria so well. Dumb. i know. Then theres work love of my life. Ok first major down side: has a girlfriend! ugh i know but i’ve liked him for 2 years now!!! and they Just started going out. The worst part is i know her. And she’s one of those over tanned, truck loving, country music listening to, constantly texting, crash dieters. And i know this should make me immediately say back off. The only problem is, as soon as i avoid/ignore him he starts paying me attention. Flirting with me. Trying to get me right back where i’ve spent most of my last two years at work(in love with him). And the biggest problem isn’t that he’s charming. It’s that he knows me so well. Like i do stuff and he can comment on exactly how i do it. Even little stuff. Same with me, it’s almost to the annoying point where we can finish each others sentences(actually the other day we did) Everyone at my job thinks we’re so cute and should date. And there constantly telling me this. It’s almost like because we’ve worked together for SO long we’re growing in the same direction. And we really are pretty different, but there are so many odd things that we do the same. Our whole outlook on life, our interests, our emotional state. And we both know so much about each other we could probably write a(rather boring) book. i know i should just get over it. The only problem is, that everytime i Really try, he notices. HE seriously knows. AND he flirts with me until i’m smitten again. I think it took about 3 days. 3 days!! i know i’m terrible. and smitten. sigh.
GemmaMaria has written 5 entries about this goal
today after i finished working out extra hard…i realized that i’m lucky to not have to deal with love right now. For once in my life i actually have the time to evaluate and improve myself, and the will to do it. And no distractions(which guys Always are) to hinder me. SO this is kind of like a gift. A gift of time, and freedom that at some other time in my life i’m probably going to envy….so why not enjoy it now, and utilize it!
You shouldn’t do anything to fall in love. It just happens. The persons involve have to be in place where they’re hearts are open to receive the tiny, barely audible/visible cues sent over from the other’s heart.
Trust your gut. If something feels wrong – if something in you feels badly when you’re with a person, it’s not the right person. It took my boyfriend and I some time to get it right, but this last reconnection has been remarkable. it all just fell into place. Love should feel right in your bones.
Give up on the players and tools that you fall for. Don’t let guys hurt you, don’t even give them the chance to!
Only go for the guys who are worth it completely.
Become the person you wish to be with, and that person will be drawn to you.
Stop Looking, start feeling
wasting too much time on guys who just aren’t right for me. And they’re def not wasting any time on me. This needs to stop asap. I just feel kind of lost, i feel like it’s been forever since I’ve been in love, and i miss they feeling. I’ve been holding on to anyone who gives me that gut love butterflies feeling, but in the end it just makes me more sad when i realize it isn’t the real thing. This isn’t at the top of my list because i know that you can’t really try to fall in love…maybe i should change this one to: stop holding on to guys who aren’t right for you
guess this isn’t exactly my choice. But i do need to make the choice to let it happen when the chance comes…