accept myself for who I am

I have very low self esteem and am inclined to blame myself when something goes wrong that isn’t my fault.
I am not even involved in the problem. Sometimes, I get frustrated and I blame myself, but everybody get frustrated. Everybody. I have decided to try to work through this and try to realize that when I get frustrated or upset, the solution is not to get angry with myself (that’s what I do) but the instead I should stop what I am doing that is causing the frustration and go play with my lovely little doggie or go watch television. Dogs are wonderful in building up your self esteem. Even though I am much too large, my dog loves me and has never had anything bad or critical to say to me.

In August I have decided to go to the Wellness Center here. This is a gym out at the hospital. You can only go if you get a referral from your doctor, but all you have to do is ask and the doctors are only too happy to write the referral for you. I am looking forward to going because there I know that I can build up my strength and my wind so that I can walk longer distances without being winded and also I will be losing pounds and inches.

I want to learn how to love myself for who I am. I have not done this in the past. Some of the things about me that I do not like are these:

1. I am too heavy (need we say fat)
2. I have a quick temper and I yell
3. I have very little patience with some things.
4. I become frustrated very easily.
5. I am considered disabled by US government. I worked as clerk typist and was declared disabled. To me, this says that I am damaged goods.

Some of the things that I like about me are:

1. I love animals, especially dogs.

I want to accept myself and love myself. There are reasons that I do not like myself. Some of them I imagine that I can do nothing about and there are some of them that I can do something about. I will have to list them.

The first one is that I am too heavy. I also have a very quick temper and I need to learn how to control it without yelling and hitting things. At least I’m not hitting people, but I’m afraid that I’m scaring the dog. I don’t want to do this. Another thing is that I don’t work and I haven’t worked for some years. I was declared disabled—this is another reason. I didn’t get to study what I wanted to study when I was in college and then in vocational school. This is another reason. There are many more.