That’s my new challenge. Finding one thing I love that I can make a little money doing…actually, I need to just find out what I love again. Years ago my husband and I started our own business—for about eight years, we were either working or sleeping, not much time for anything else (okay, we occasionally ate, but that’s about it).
Don’t get me wrong: we had so many good times and met some truly amazing people. But eventually you get tired, like down to your soul.
When we came out of that experience (we sold our business…I sorta feel sorry for the poor saps that bought it), we both discovered that we’d forgotten who we were—not together, but individually.
So, anxiety has sprouted up for me because I forgot what I liked to do. Maybe more than that because I was young when I started my career and soon after started and ran our business. I don’t think I really knew who I was to begin with—most of the things I love/d were things a teenager loved, not necessarily what I, as a more grown-up person, enjoys.
And a new challenge presented itself: figure out what you like/love to do as a 38-year old.
Personality issues: I’m one of those people that has a difficult time focusing. I like everything and want to try it all. I’m also a PERFECTIONIST. So when I try something new, I want to be perfect at it from the get-go. Otherwise, my commitment level is questionable. I mean, why try something unless I’m going to master it immediately (I read this and think, “who do I think I am? Some weird prodige’?”).
Guess what? I’m rarely good at anything the first time I try it. Who is?! See the problem?
Now I just have to “do it” as Nike says. Whether I suck or not. Just do “it,” whatever “it” is.
Right now “it” is guitar, digital composing, making art (digital mostly…it’s the cheapest), reading more, learning Spanish, re-learning French, cooking at home more—exercising my body, expanding my mind.
Oh yeah, and figuring out how to become financially independent within 10 years…and lastly, being remembered for one thing.
Just gotta put it all together. Easy right? We’ll see. It could be that I make it hard. Again, we’ll see.
