be alone

Ok, so lately iv been thinking about this one, and it relates to something about home. Well what a stupid question to as but : what is home?! Because iv never really felt at home in my house. And i think that has to do with this alone thing. Because in my house im always paranoid. My rents are the kind of people who like things tight and tightly with strict rules and no wiggle room. And because of this iv become a paranoid person (in my home at least). So yes id like to be alone, in a place where i feel empty of this paranoia. And i have found a few places where this works well for me, except the alone part is absent. Because when i feel happiest is when im with my loves. My girlies are the loves of my life who make me feel secure. And when we are laying on the floor not talking, just breathing and relaxing and doing whatever, but together, is when i feel at peace. So thank you my lady loves for being my inner peace, i couldn’t face this house without you to run to when the absence of wiggle room makes me Closter phobic! I love you all too much! <333333

I want to be alone. But are you ever really alone? No. But i want to be. I just want the world to stop obsessign over me for 1 day. I want everyone to forget i exist. I want to walk among the people and see them, not to worry about them seeing me. I want to sit under a tree and think. Just think. Not worry.
I want to hide from scornful eyes, and hide from rough hands. I want to walk barefoot along a wide open plane and look out but never see a horison. I want unlimitied possibilities of where i can go, and what i can be. And never once have to spare a thought to the people who might find me.
No troubles, no hatrid, not fear.
I want to not be afraid! OF ANYTHING OR ANYONE!
I want to cry. But i want to cry alone. I dont want people fussing over me when i cry. I want my emotions to be set free!
And when im done being alone. I want to do it again!