September, 2011. When I lost a joy that kept me strong.
I suppose that such vehemence is such a strange thing to be, considering it was a long distance relationship. Still, I recall the very first days.
Years ago when I read her posts for the first time, I was amused. When I looked at her pictures, she struck me as attractive. When we actually talked, I was more than allured. When I heard her voice, I knew that eventually I would end up falling for her. How heavy a surprise when she was the first to say it.
We both hail from a savage past and we both live a difficult life. On those days, we had each other and on my part, just talking to her made me feel that it was not so bad. No girl I’ve been with in the past could come close to bringing me into such a vulnerable state like she did. First through love, then through heartbreak.
Eventually, distance took the upper hand and the individual ordeals our lives were strangled the bond. Months later, I made a fatal mistake and though we are friends again, we are further away than the distance that already separated us.
No girl has ever made me feel like this, and no pain of a split-up has lasted so much for me.
Time has passed and the pain continues to heal. I miss her, but the darkness is gone. Sadness has gone, but my affection for her remains.
Life is still exceptionally harsh on me, but it is all an ordeal I am to fight through. If I have to acheive so many things before getting that second chance, so be it.
You once said that I should hold on and never let go, I said I would never. Months later, in our silly shenanigans I told you I always do what I say I will. Put two and two together… I love you.