I went to college, got multiple degrees, and anticipated that my lifes work would be in teaching, training, business, something productive for a MBA. My profession of choice, is however, motherhood.
I am a consultant, I pick my hours, my clients and my work is not consistent – sometimes its very busy, others the checks aren’t realy worth cashing. I probably have a decent mix right about now. Yet, upon occassion – my number 1 clients (ages 7, 4 and 3) remind me of why I have minimal furniture, more books than the law should allow that rhyme, a hot breakfast rule in the winter and the best job on earth.
I am a mother first. My priority on any given day isn’t anything I learned in my education. On a regular basis I pass with flying colors, and sometimes I fail and retake that class. I dance in the kitchen with children that don’t laugh – they delight in the laughter. I find missing shoes with the intensity of a secret mission, and I find them. I find them. I kiss noses and fingers and believe in fairies and wrestle with my colleagues, and I lose often in scrabble. I have children who are raised by a moma who aspired to the finer things in life, and now delights in the perfect bowl of oatmeal. Cinnamon is such a tool.
I have a split personality. I love the professional aspect of my work, my knowledge and education, my ability to make a difference in non profit management. Yet, when a particularly hard day comes along – I delight in the reality of my choices. I am a mother, and I am a mother first. Our family choices have not been easy, most financial planners would basically say it is wealth suicide. When people come over I sometimes decorate card tables – beautifully I’m told – but they are indeed covered card tables. But I have to remember why.
I dance in the kitchen, I kiss little noses, I read more stories than the law should allow. I play batman, and Larry Boy, go on secret missions, and decorate pancakes as if we are serving them at the Ivy. I laugh hard and long at the things my children say, and the things they are not supposed to say. I teach them their letters, their numbers, their manners, their purpose, long before any teacher has to learn their name or their personality. They have a love for life, and a disregard for adult choices – because they really don’t understand that the lack in our lives we have created. Sometimes I don’t understand it either.
But….on a day like today, with butterfly kisses, funny kitchen dances and a tossled mommy look only a 3 year old could love – I delight in my split personality. I believe the right people came out on top.
