be a size 12

So the last few days snowed in have been – well, not that great. The only good thing to report is that my daughter is in a new gymnastics class and there is a track above the practice floor. As I watch lady long legs work on her cartwheels and get those legs over the bar…moma was able to walk and to actually get some exercise in too. That was a great feeling. I hope that my daughter won’t aspire to a more healthy life – she’ll live one for her entire life. Exercise won’t be foreign, and the thought of moving will be a part of her regular habit. This was a smile and a foot forward after Valentine’s Day cupcakes and the dreaded drive thru. So…maybe 12 is closer than I think.

A little over two weeks with complex carbs, no refined sugar and more healthy choices. At times it has been a battle of preparation and planning with appetite. At some point I did start getting back on the scale and although unnerved, sending the pounds drop is well worth it. I feel better in my clothing, even though I realize that I had surely picked up pounds in recent months. Once my clothes are comfortable and without complication, that 12 will not be a light at the end of the tunnel, it will be within clear walking distance.

I had forgotten that the southbeachesque way of life was so difficult at first. It is surprising that I was able to be that disciplined at such a roller coaster of season in life. What is really interesting, is that I did it – I made the choice, changed my eating habits and stuck with it for a year. So…now that I look at some “back sliding” and a renewed focus on my larger goal – I do so with a bit of a thankful heart. I actually am able to do whatever I set my mind to, and sometimes its nice to look at history – and see it proven so.

So I’ve been here before, changing habits and adjusting eating plans – but I’m starting at a much healthier place. I wore a size 20 suit when I went on my last aggressive effort to have a better lifestyle. I didn’t keep all 40 lbs. off – but I did keep over 30 of it at bay. So, as I start my oatmeal routine in the morning, with cinnamon and a touch of splenda, while I release my starbucks and eliminate all fast food/take out/restaurant eating for this season – I really am okay. I looked in the mirror today, and my starting point is much better than 18 months ago. I’m on my way to the better me, and although there will always be stress, obstacles, challenges, whatever – it is nice to know that I have figured out what works for my body, when I’m willing to do the work. So good bye carb feasting, no more pizza exceptions because I ordered thin crust – I’m aiming for a healthier life, and the treats as just that, not a lifestyle.

I have long avoided the January 1st commitment to do anything, it has always seemed artificial to me. However, with the way I’m feeling today in the pants that are talking back a bit – whatever makes a renewed commitment and a fresh start – let’s get at it. I’ve lost 40, found 10 and need to get back in the fold of releasing calories, releasing recreational eating and releasing bad choices. I have come to believe, nothing taste as good as feeling great and looking great – and for myself, I’ve got a new habit to create.

The doctor told me that I had used a solid approach to the beginning of my weight loss program – protein, veggies, cut the carbs and the sugar especially. Today, I look up – and I’m feasting on taco’s. Hmmmm – point of commitment, to reach a size 12 – there has to be a commitment to paying more attention to food consumption and less attention on the size. Taco’s didn’t help me lose the first 40 lbs., urggh.

I’ve lost 40 lbs., hoping to stop finding 5 or so of that back. I have a goal of losing 40 more, but a solid 20 would mean size 12 jeans are a reality, and not a deep sigh on a dreary day. It was great to see a 18, 16, 14….but that 12 is hiding, its hiding.