find direction

Ive been thinking about extending my degree but will that just be even more useless? Is it what I really want? Sometimes it feels like the right thing to do other times it feels like a complete waste of time. There are times that I see things so clearly and others that it seems a pointless farce.
I’m not happy where I am in life but I have no idea how to change that. I just feel lost.

I have what I feel at times is an utterly worthless degree but I do want to work in that field, I think. My husband actually gave me a few ideas slightly to the left of where I was originally thinking. I was seeing a dead end, he found an off ramp. It was a helpful conversation on a lot of levels.

When I was younger I was so sure of who I was and what I wanted to do with my life. I had this plan, things would happen to sidetrack me from time to time but, I always felt like the plan wasn’t going to change. That I was going to be and do exactly what I wanted, to hell with what life threw at me.
Well, ten years ago I gave up on my plan. I willingly cast my hopes and dreams aside because I thought I had been put on another path. So much has changed that sometimes I see a stranger in the mirror. I haven’t the slightest clue who I am anymore. I don’t know what I want out of my life, I can’t even explain to myself why I do anything I do.
I look back and think, how on earth could I have been so stupid? What could possibly possessed me? The worst is wondering if I can still fix it. Is there is any hope left of reclaiming my life, any hope of making something (anything) out of the mess I’ve made of myself?
I exist. Trapped in a strangers story and I don’t know the way back to my own. Half the time my only thoughts are ” breathe in,breathe out” like I have to push myself to keep doing it. The other half are the slightly more ambitious “just get through today”.
where on earth do I even start?