cannibalize a human

I just realized the phrase “cannibalize a human” is uber redundant.

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Oh well, I’m not changing it. I love it.

I’m not saying I want to murder anyone and eat their liver with some nice steak sauce and a baked potato. I just think it would be really something to try a sample of human flesh.

I’ve researched cannibalism quite a bit, and according to what I found, cannibalism was wide-spread throughout the world long ago (but not too long ago, relatively.) I understand how those ancient people would mourn the dead by consuming part of the [naturally] deceased. I don’t think it’s much different than how we say, “They are a part of you.” Except it would be literal.

I think that how other countries/religions celebrate by embracing death and having festivals is just great. I don’t enjoy our western traditions of solemn funerals. That is what is horrible.

Which reminds of of the song A Lifetime by Better Than Ezra (I have a song for EVERYTHING):

We arrived late to the wake
Stole the urn while they looked away
and drove to the beach
‘cause I knew you’d want it that way.

From what else I’ve learned, there aren’t really any specific laws that forbid cannibalism. However, you can be nailed for murder, digging up a grave, and necrophilia (but why would I dig up the body anyway? That’s too much effort for putrid, embalming-fluid injected flesh.)

My plan is to befriend someone crazy enough to agree that if and when they die, I can cut off a piece and cook it up. Okay, maybe this will never happen, but what are YOUR goals in life? More than likely I’ll simply know that they are my pack mate forever if they agree to these terms. After all, what is the chance that I’d find the body first and be alone…?

I read a web article where a New York newspaper reporter paid off a morgue personnel for a piece of human flesh so he could try it and write up a critique on it – which he later compared to veal, but more stringy.

I wonder if that would still be possible. Try googling that, or you can find it on Wiki through the article on cannibalism. I figure I could do it if I thought about it as meat rather than a person. (But they’d be dead. Really.)

P.S. This will probably never happen. CIA, Go ahead and open a folder on me, but chances are I’d never get an opportunity much less do it. Let’s see how the next five years pan out.