Make 2008 my best year yet

Oh, and I forgot: I read a ton of novel writing related books. Why do I forget to aknowledge this? Probably because it was fun.

Still taking it easy, but at least I spent a lot of time with my son (G9), ate healthier and took my vitamins (G3) and made an extensive list of work options (G2). February was a tough, tough month. I must keep my hopes up for March…

This week was mostly dedicated to family and to licking my wounds. I took my parents to the airport, and my son to the pediatrician. Also before that we just enjoyed being together, watching some movies, playing kiddie cards, going out for lunch once and eating party food the evening previous to their departure, etc… It was a G9 and G10 week. I thought it amounted to nothing because it was not a G1, 2, 3 week, and because I still felt the failure, but it is not so. Family is always important to me. I spent a little more time than usual on the computer and watching TV (at least I gave me the best manicure in a long time), but so be it… By the end of the week I was reviewing my goals, the house was clean and I had had a pampering hour one morning, putting a mask on my hair and doing other girly stuff. We are still not sure what to do, and my husband is encouraging me to call the guy who called me for the fiasco and give him a piece of my mind – he knows the only reason I haven’t is to not mess with his (husband’s) chances, but he’s not so eager anymore. Still haven’t decided what to do, though… I’ll probably write a letter with all my arguments, just so I don’t forget anything I’d like to say and stop rerunning an imaginary conversation in my head.
Goog thing is that my husband has been surprisingly supportive and we are reconnecting.
I think I’m ready to go on.

And it sucked. Big time. I can’t even really write about it yet because it makes me so, so mad. After one of the tests, one person from the board of examiners had the nerve to tell me that I got less points on the written text because it was better than the other but “too academic” and I quoted my sources, while the other candidate just wrote what she would do in such a case. I replied that I usually give my sources credit, and that it is an UNIVERSITY, for crying out loud! – it’s supposed to be academic!!! I actually feel kind of sick just thinking about it. I wouldn’t mind not getting the job because there was someone better than me, but I do mind that twisted way of judging everything as subjectively as possible so that the outcome is in fact pre-determined. That outcome won’t be posted for another week and yet I already know I won’t get it for something like 0.3 points, just enough to leave me out.
I got back home on Thursday morning, exhausted, completely drained, humiliated and angry, very, very angry. I know I was made a fool, and what is worse is that I believed it was all bona fide and lost a whole month studying for that instead of focusing on other goals or at least other ways to achieve G2 (work/career). Besides, my parents will be getting back home on Monday, and I didn’t spend the time and energy I could have spent with them, if I knew this was all bogus.
Oh, and tomorrow it’s my birthday and my family will want to celebrate, but I feel more like hiding under the bed and crying. :(

Late for this, but it’s OK. I’ve been working like crazy on G2 (Work/Career). That’s the main focus now. I’m studying a lot for the written test, I finished choosing my repertoire for the audition and have been practicing like mad. I’ll be traveling for my tests marathon (think Idol meets… I don’t know… The apprentice? Survivor? Obviously written contests don’t amount to high-ratings television; jobs in education are not that glamourous) on Saturday or Sunday, so if you can, think of me and send me good vibes. Not necessarily to get the job, but to get it if it’s really the best thing to happen…
I’m trying to constantly be aware of my G1 role (my own coach) to remind me of what is most important, now that there is so much to do.
G4: Health. Well, I got the results from my blood tests, but I have to wait for my appointment in… March. Of course, I tried to read them, and as expected I’m low on everything that begins with hemo…
G3: Physical Environment: de-cluttering. Not so great this week because of the focus on G2. Just some jars and beautiful (at least to me) decorated tins. Also, an ice-bucket that had seen better days and a cake pan in good condition that got a new home.
Anyway, next week will be all about the job. I’ll be away from 43things. Wish me luck!

G1: weekly meeting: done. I re-arranged my goals according their immediate importance. So now it’s more like I’m working on just my top three goals than on my top ten. Let’s see if it pays off…

G2: Work/Career: I began to get back in shape for singing, and to select some things according to what they ask (and what I’ve already sung). I studied about an hour an a half everyday but the weekend.

• Started to gather some books to sell/give away. I already had two; then I collected three more. And then 32 more books by the end of the week!!!
• Paper department: an old notebook
• Another big bag of glass jars I was saving for candles, jams, you name it….
• A small wooden cup
• Sturdy square blue dish and six (or eight?) mini dessert bowls (for that I got a recipient that really appreciated them)
• Two huge sippy cups
• A big white plastic dish… or something….

G4: Health: Be Healthy, Be Fit, Be Strong
Did the blood tests on Monday (those were four vials!!) and the dreaded mammography. Results on the 28th (tomorrow).
Started to take my vitamins again, even while I wait for my next appointment

1. Growth: Have weekly meetings with myself … – Done

2. Physical Environment: De-clutter as if I were planning to move
*Gave my mother back three blouses she had previously given me, but are actually much more her size and style (besides, she could use the clothes and some cheering up now)
*Got rid of a pile of magazines, some expired spices (every little thing helps) and a cracked salad bowl I mentioned somewhere else.
*Started to use some tiny cosmetic samples I have that were in a drawer in the bathroom.
*Tossed a make up box and two eye shadow trios that were probably from the eighties. I didn’t use them, but again, mom had left them for me. So, after repeating three times “they are probably out of fashion and a health hazard, and you’ll be able to buy new make up”, out they went.
*A small pottery pitcher with a broken handle. I insisted on keeping it because my mom gave it to me (does someone notice a trend?)
*A flour sifter I never use because it’s easier to use the sieve
So the process is still a little haphazard, but my priority is G3, so I just take care of this small easy things as I remember them.

3. Work/Career: Look for new work assignments/clients and/or create new job/work options
Began the painful process of applying to that job my friend told me about. This will take a month, at least. I spent the week gathering all kinds of papers, photocopying things, filling forms, etc, until I had a big fat envelope which I finally mailed on Friday afternoon. We’ll see if they accept it.
I also began to study like crazy for the tests that will follow. I have to refine my plan…

4. Health: Be Healthy, Be Fit, Be Strong
I scheduled my blood tests and all for Monday morning (that’s tomorrow!!).

5. Spiritual: Rekindle my spiritual life
Didn’t do as much as I’d like, but tried one of the meditations in the Fairy Ring book.

Well, my main focus was Health, and then I got really sick. At least I did something: I went to the doctor and now I have tons of exams, which I’ll at least schedule this week.

Then a friend called and told us there may be a job opening in his city for my very general area. I’m really stressed about this, because the job is in my general area of work, but not really what I want and I’m looking for (and for what I studied the last two and a half years). Besides, we would have to move, rent this apartment, find our son another school, etc… It’s a small city about 8 hours from here, and it means a completely different life. On the other hand, it’s a job, and a job in Music (not many of those where I live) and that means money. I hate, hate, hate moving. With a passion. I’m soooo torn. If the same job was here, I wouldn’t hesitate. If it was somewhere else implying a move but was more related to what I really want, I would hesitate a little but still pursue it. But the way things are, that’s two bad things for one so-so thing. On the other hand it’s MONEY (which we need now), and change is supposed to be good, and it would look great on my resumé in a couple of years… It’s driving me nuts…. sigh
If I pursue this, it would set me back on all the “me” goals I was so happy about. Grrr….

Still, let’s get to my weekly meeting:

1. 1: Meeting – OK
2. 2: New wording: De-clutter as if I were planning to move.
   Already dealt with a huge pile of scores and got rid of some. Organized the others by language/period (there’s still a small pile left). Got rid of a big cracked salad bowl I insisted on keeping for some insane reason
   #3: Work/Career: call said friend this week and gather more info
   #4: Went to the doctor, taking medicine. Must schedule my exams (I’ll call on Monday!)
   All others but taking care of my family are on hold.

Actually I copied #2 from one of the drafts I was working on but that’s not quite what I want. The ultimate goal is really to get healthy and in shape. So physical activity is just one step.
List, corrected:
1. Have weekly meetings with myself to appraise my progress and cheer me up
2. Get healthy and in shape
3. Look for new work assignments/clients and/or create new job/work options
4. Rekindle my spiritual life
5. Creativity: plot a novel
6. Take care of our financial health by reducing expenses and setting up savings and investments, and an account for my son’s future (not completed last year)
7. De-clutter and organize my home (another layer!)
8. work my way through some books/workshops I’ve been meaning to for a long time
9. Keep taking good care of my son: nurture his self-worth, teach him another language, read him a story before bed most nights
10. Write my parents that love letter

Edited to say: I also like Waterfall Nymph’s wording for # 2: be healthy, be fit, be strong

GUIDELINES
I can handle very big goals if I dedicate myself to them
Take care of my health
Be more disciplined, don’t procrastinate
(Bonus: I may ask for help and get it)

MAJOR FOCUS
My own guide and coach

TOP TEN GOALS
1. Have weekly meetings with myself to appraise my progress and cheer me up
2. Do something physical times a week. Walk/exercise/swimm and/or do Yoga 3 Something
3. Look for new work assignments/clients and/or create new job/work options
4. Rekindle my spiritual life
5. Creativity: plot a novel
6. Take care of our financial health by reducing expenses and setting up savings and investments, and an account for my son’s future (not completed last year)
7. De-clutter and organize my home (another layer!)
8. work my way through some books/workshops I’ve been meaning to for a long time
9. Keep taking good care of my son: nurture his self-worth, teach him another language, read him a story before bed most nights
10. Write my parents that love letter

The major focus and goal #1 may seem like a cop-out, but I really need this. Otherwise I get obsessed with something and/or distracted by the everyday stuff.
Numbers 6 and 10 are from last year. Actually, the goal of the letter is making my parents feel good and thanking them, and I’m doing this “live” right now, so I’m not worrying much about it specifically.
Goal 3: need the money, and maybe it’s time for new challenges.
Goal 7: moderate success; time for another layer.
Goal 9 is really three goals wrapped into one, and I had them last year, and I was moderately successful. My question was: eliminate them because I’ve already got the hang of it or keep them occupying three places? This is my solution – they take enough time and are important and big enough to be here, but I can see them as one big thing.
Numbers 4, 5 and 8: These are my goals. The fun that was missing, the ones with less measurable results, that don’t earn me money or a degree, that don’t benefit someone else, but that may put a smile on my face.