never apologize for being me

I just read my previous entry on this goal – I don’t remember writing that! See, I’m a top chick and I’m funny!!

Tonight I decided to go to a birthday dinner for a friend even though I really didn’t want to… but I was upfront and told her that I could only stay for two hours and then I had to leave.

And I did.. I was proud of myself – I used to allow myself to be guilted into doing things I didn’t want to. But not any more!!

And I’m a bloody top chick!!

with a very good friend today, and she was telling me how stressed she is. She’s not getting much sleep because she can’t switch off when she goes to bed. She told me how she lays there thinking about all these complex formulas and concepts she has to know for her job… then she stopped and said, “Not that I’m saying I’m at all smart or anything… because I’m not. At all.”

This woman has a marketing degree, has had some very highly placed positions in global companies, has received awards in her field, is doing her PhD and has been asked to present it overseas – not to mention she is going through a not-so-amicable seperation and is currently a single mum of two young boys (2 and 4 years old).

And she doesn’t want me, someone who has known her for 9 years, to think she’s bragging or that she thinks she’s ‘smart’.

I realised that I have no problems recognising and acknowledging my intelligence. I know I’m not a genius. But I’m smart, and I don’t apologise for it. Ever.

It breaks my heart that my friend feels like that.

So why do I think that I have to be better, thinner, prettier, more intelligent, more professional, more fun, more spontaneous, more organised, a better friend, a better daughter, a better girlfriend, a better role model at work, less judging, more easygoing, less of a pushover, less needy, less independent… etc, etc, etc… to keep everyone else happy???

I am SO much smarter than that!!!