Write a will

I signed the will, POA and living will paperwork today. My attorney (wow, that is weird to say!) has a copy, and I have my copies. I guess I am a mortal, responsible, grown-up now.

Hhmmmph!

:-)

I still haven’t made it to the bank to get the living will notarized, but there is a branch open on Sundays that I may visit tomorrow. I also have an appointment with the attorney on this coming Thursday to get the will and power of attorney documents settled. Then I will just have to let my executor have the attorney’s contact information, mail off copies of the then-notarized living will to doctors and so forth, and I can mark this goal as finished.

I don’t know why I am dragging my feet on this, as I know it is important. Maybe by reviving my entries on 43T, it will motivate me to see this to completion.

Yesterday, the legal assistant emailed me with some questions. I emailed her back, and I got a response as well from the attorney to confirm they received my email. I was told the attorney would be reviewing the documents as soon as today. Then, it’s up to me to get in there to get everything signed and paid for, I suppose. I still have the living will paperwork in my truck (somewhere?!), and I planned to bring that to my bank the next time I deposit checks, to get that document notarized.

Then, I plan to send a copy of the living will to my doctor, to the person who will be my medical surrogate, and also keep a copy at home. I have a plan, now I just have to see it through—hopefully this will take a lot less time than getting my passport required!

Even before recent events transpired across the street from me, I had decided to start resurrecting this worthy goal. I was speaking to a financial advisor, and he recommended a local attorney. I contacted him via phone, and he gave me his prices and can do the paperwork for me within 2 weeks (he practices part-time).

I’ve sent him the information to do a will and durable power of attorney, and I can print out the living will paperwork myself. I’ve firmed up a person to serve in these roles, and I decided I am not going to wait for a backup person to be available before having something in place—I can always amend the documents later.

I’ll keep you all posted on my progress. TTFN!

While I believe it is a good idea to settle my affairs in advance, now is not the best time. I really need more distance from my former church before I decide who to name as beneficiary(ies). I will reopen this goal when I am more settled.

I was chatting with another 43T’er about different religions tonight, and I got sidetracked with something I was going to say, so I thought I’d post it here.

Before I decided to leave my former church, one woman in particular (who was on the church board and of course close to the pastor) was having some serious talks with me about re-doing my will and leaving assets to the church. I told her that my main worry is about finding a way to provide for my animals in the event of my early demise (or the rapture).

One day after Sunday morning service, the topic came up again as she and I were standing in the hallway, waiting for the pastor and his wife to join us for our usual lunch outing. I made a half-joking comment that in the event of the rapture, I had seriously considered leaving at least some of my financial assets to a Buddhist temple, with the stipulation that they care for my cats and dog. Buddhist seem to have such a respect for life, all life, that I felt I could trust this request to be honored more so than leaving money to one of the animal-oriented charities I support.

Wow, I think that was a world speed record in getting my pastor to turn purple and sputter upset words!

Anyway, no more work on this goal for now … just thought I should share something semi-related. If it offends, then I apologize, I claim temporary insanity due to cold germs. :-)

I have decided that at least for now, to take a big step back from the church and my associating with J. Since she was going to be the one to be my handler of affairs and medical surrogate, this has put a big crimp in this goal.

I don’t know too many people in this new state (except R. and well, that’s too complicated), and I want someone local here.

I will just have to put this in God’s hands and hope that things will turn out according to His will.

J. was going to be my main person in handling my affairs if my early demise occurs; I have no family members that are alive who I would actually want to be involved.

However, I now feel this goal has been derailed, because of some recent events (see here: http://www.43things.com/entries/view/719757).

Am I overreacting? Is J. still the right choice for me? Sigh, I’m not fond of this grown-up stuff. I’d rather play on the swings.

Sad to say, I’ve not done anything to advance this goal except think about things.

The things on my mind are:

1) Accounts where I need to either name or change a beneficiary. There is no need to leave things to anyone from my old life who didn’t support or value me when I needed them most.

2) Setting up a living will and a medical surrogate. I know who I want to be in that role; I just need to do it.

3) Setting up a will or a trust—I want to make sure that my animals are cared for if at all possible. I have seven and that is a lot of kibble and vet bills, but if a portion of my estate were designated for their care, I would rest easier.

I don’t know if I need to consider anything else.

Along with a will, I realized that I need a living will and medical surrogacy paperwork. The person who I had designated as my medical surrogate lives across the country, and of late has been unreachable and somewhat an unreliable communicator. While I love him dearly, in an emergency, these traits would not be tolerable.

On Sunday, I talked with J. from church. She is an older single woman, and she is the one who went with me to the OB-GYN and has stood by my side. She constantly bad-mouths R. and men in general, but I know that she is just trying to protect me. Anyway, I talked with her about being my medical decision maker, and she agreed to do it. She said she can even get me the paperwork.

What I did not discuss with J. is that I want to make her a beneficiary in my will. I’ve been thinking hard about why I am where I am, and why I have what I have. It all keeps coming back to God. I have Him to thank for being safe from the storms, for my beautiful big house in a quiet neighborhood, and so many more blessings.

I don’t have any family to speak of—long sad story. The distant relatives of which I am aware, it would make me sick to think of them getting my house and everything for which I’ve worked so hard to save and acquire.

I think the hard part is over—deciding on a medical surrogate, and having the courage to ask for this request. Now I will work on finding the best and most affordable way to draw up the paperwork.