please God

It’s been a long time since I’ve added to this entry. I hope it doesn’t mean that I am distancing myself from God, because He never leaves us—it’s always the other way around.

Today, I was feeling anxious about my upcoming wedding—not the marriage, but making all the plans, etc. On Tuesday this week, our SUV broke down, and we had to rent a car. The only thing available was a huge Ford F150 truck that was jacked up high. It was difficult to get in and out of the cab, and I didn’t even dare drive it myself. My sweetheart man did all the driving, but as expected, it was not totally comfortable for him, either.

I’ve had incessant worries that he would have an accident with the rental truck, or worse, get injured or die. I know we will all die someday, but sometimes I am so happy that I just can’t scarcely believe it will stay this way (although it does).

So today, rather than give myself totally over to tears, worry and strife, I started to pray. I prayed a private missive to God for my thanks, and my request to watch over the safety and health of my sweetheart man.

Goodness knows, God can do a much better job of things than I ever could, even on my best day!

My sweetheart man and I just finished moving the chuppah into place. We had to edge it forward about 20 feet, because rain is expected and so I wanted to relocate it so our guests would have seating out of the weather. Taking small steps, we had to budge each corner forward, then catch up with the other three sides so the structure wouldn’t collapse.

After we were through, I had a moment alone in the frame, its white cover had not been yet erected. I stood in its shadow, framing the setting sun in a cooling sky. In less than 48 hours, I will change from woman to wife.

And I shed a grateful tear as I admired the sky, knowing that my glorious God will be with me, every small step of the way.

Dear God,

This morning, I asked for help in being more faithful in prayer for this young man. I know that You know the robbery and property destruction he and his associates did to my then-home back in 2002. I know that You know their hearts, as You knew mine back then as well, even before I professed you as Lord of my life.

Help me not walk in fear after being reminded that he still exists in the same earthly world as do I. Help me be grateful that after such a long absence, he is attempting to restart restitution payments as ordered by the court system.

Please bless Joseph and help him continue to be successful and prosperous, and to rob and steal no more.

In the name of your Holy Son Jesus,

Amen.

Dear God,

Thank You for being my God and hearing my prayer.

Please help me seek the job I am meant to have, with the company and team I am meant to serve.

Please help me be wise in my dealings and decisions. Also, please bear on the heart of the hiring manager and employer to be generous with me.

I feel tender but hopeful, and I submit myself to Your Care.

In the name of Your Holy Son Jesus,

Amen.

Dear God,

I have not been faithful lately with my prayers and being in relationship with You. I have felt shame and embarrassment in my own personal situation and shortcomings.

Please God, renew my faith in You to believe that You know what is best for me right now. It’s so hard for me to accept that not working is the best thing right now. It makes me feel like so much less of a person.

Please God, help me rely on You and build my faith. Please help me accept that Your will, not mine, shall be done, and it will all turn out for my betterment in the end.

In the name of Your Holy Son Jesus,

Amen.

Moses dies and goes to heaven. God greets him at the Pearly Gates.

“Are you hungry, Moses?” asks God.

“I could eat,” Moses replies. So God opens a can of tuna and reaches for a chunk of rye bread and they share it. While partaking of this humble meal, Moses looks down into Hell and sees the inhabitants devouring huge steaks, pheasants, pastries and wines. Curious but deeply trusting, he remains quiet.

The next day God again invites Moses to join him for a meal. Again it’s tuna and rye bread. And, again, Moses can see those denizens of Hell enjoying salmon, champagne, lamb, chopped chicken liver, truffles, and chocolates. Still he says nothing.

The following day, mealtime arrives and another can of tuna is opened.

He can’t contain himself any longer. Meekly, he says: “God, I am grateful to be here in heaven with You as a reward for the pious, obedient life I led. But here in heaven all I get to eat is tuna and a piece of rye bread, and in that ‘other place’ they all eat like emperors and kings! I just don’t understand.”

God sighs. “Let’s be honest,” He says. “For just two people, does it really pay to cook?”

Dear God,

Tonight as I was talking to my sweetheart man, he said something to me that deeply resonated in my gut. He said that when I was ready, I was going to have to take a step out on faith. That shook me and reminded me of a time in my life when I did that on a daily basis, with Your help and guidance.

I pray tonight for my eyes to be open to You, for You to show me what Your Plan is for me.

I pray to walk in the spirit of courage and righteousness and not fear and cowering.

I have some big decisions to make, and lately I have felt paralyzed and been avoiding too much. I pray for You to enable me to become and maintain the motivation I need to work through this grieving time.

Most of all, thank You for being my God and hearing my prayers. You are the God Almighty who kept the rafters knitted over my head during the fiercest of storms. Nothing is impossible for You, and nothing shall be impossible if I am listening to Your advice and guidance.

In the name of Your Holy Son, Jesus, this I pray,

Amen.

Dear God,

Here I sit, exhausted and ready to pray for the first time today.

Please open my eyes to Your Will for me.

Please also increase my faith and give me the peace that passes all understanding. Quiet my anxious heart and make my mind still so I can invite You closer to me.

Thank You for being my God and hearing my prayer.

In the name of Your Holy Son Jesus,

Amen.

Dear God,

Thank You for answering my heartfelt prayer. You answered me by closing a door, and I just haven’t seen where Your new path will take me, but I am hopeful and praising Your Name.

Please keep well and safe everyone at my old job who is left behind after today’s RIF (reduction in force). They will need encouragement and strength to endure whatever comes next for them. Also, please give extra attention to those in Human Resources who have to outprocess everyone and determine benefits, severanace, and references. May You work on their hearts to open them to be generous and compassionate.

Also God, please help me with my attitude toward others and to deepen my faith in You. In times of trouble, it is when I humbly have more opportunity to renew my relationship with You, and I think losing one’s job in a recession counts as one of these times.

Thank You for hearing my prayer and being my God.

In the name of Your Holy Son Jesus,

Amen.

Dear God,

Again I come to You, to pray for more patience, love, and tolerance. You most of all know the people and principalities that comprise my struggle at work.

You most of all know why these are placed in my current path. I am asking for Your Mercy and Grace. If these trials cannot be taken from me, then I humbly ask for the strength and dignity to endure if it be Your Will.

I’m also looking for a sign to confirm whether I should stay or move onward. Honestly, I want to leave for my own selfish comfort. However, I have fear over this path and so I turn to You instead of my own personal desires.

God, please secure me where You want me to be. Please help me have more faith so that I don’t feel sick to my stomach every morning when I have to go to work.

Thank You for hearing my prayer. In the name of Your Holy Son Jesus,

Amen.

Dear God,

I have to say, I guess You know how angry and distraught I was earlier this week. Logically, I know that when I feel that out of control, it’s a faith crisis, and this one was a doozy.

I’m sure it’s no surprise to You that when water starts coming through my basement ceiling, and the plaster collapses in a heap on the floor, I’m suspectible to forgetting that everything, everything, is according to Your plan.

I sure didn’t feel grateful when I told my sweetheart man about the streaming water and falling ceiling, and his response was to wait for his Easter arrival to inspect and fix. I suffered from visions of my house and everything in it floating away. I couldn’t have been more miserable, and it was hard to stay quietly smiling and sane while at work trying to be “normal” last week. Then, when my sweetheart man rearranged his whole schedule to traverse the distance and drive up with tools to be my hero, still I was worried and wasn’t satisfied.

I saw the news on the weekend about tornadic storms in different parts of the country. I watched in horror as I saw pictures of my sweetheart man’s city having been ripped to shreds by these tormenting winds. He came into the room with breakfast, and I looked at him, wondering if he knew. I didn’t know how to tell him, but as it turned out, he was wondering if I knew and how to tell me the ominous news.

God, Thank You for putting him here out of harm’s way of this storm. Thank You for the repair to my basement pipes that was quick and relatively inexpensive. I pray to You that this all holds together.

Thank You for guiding my sweetheart man back safely to his house, which was untouched by the storms, down to not even disturbing the new ant hills on the front lawn.

Thank You, God, for not waiting very long at all to show me that even the leaky pipes in my ceiling were all according to Your Plan.

Very impressed am I, and humbled in Your presence.

In the name of Your Holy Son, Jesus,

Amen.