never, EVER grow up

About two months ago, a colleague on my team was under a lot of stress at work due to an insane project he was commandeering. I had a little M&M guy that I stuck up on my colleague’s cubicle wall, anonymously, just to give him a chuckle. A couple of weeks later, I brought in a little plastic hippo that looked a bit threatening, with its mouth wide open..so I stuck it next to the M&M guy. Then some coworkers noticed and started bringing in small plastic animals, and arranging them in little dramatic scenarios that turned out to be hilarious and all the talk on our floor. We’ve had so much fun with this. The menagerie is still growing. Someone added a dragon that is now eating the rooster. :)

Because of the melting snow and rain, the stream near our house is flowing rapidly. G and I got out my red rubber devil ducky and a plastic monkey head from a Curious George bath bubble bottle, and raced them down the stream. Luckily we brought a hockey stick in case they got stuck in debris and branches, which they did a few times. We ended up far from home, and lost sight of monkey head who was far downstream and ended up stuck in a beaver dam. We actually saw a huge beaver swim by. It was so much fun, who would’ve thought? These are the things that matter, not whether my curtains match my sofa or if my TV is big enough. (my ducky won)

G and I got “Operation” from his sister for Christmas, who can’t quite figure us out. “Operation” is not easy! If you get a little high, it’s even more enjoyable. She gave us a used game of Kerplunk and now we just need to get some marbles that are missing. I want to get Green Ghost or Mystery Date. Have some friends over, smoke a bit, play these retarded games. Euchre is boring. Oh, and Mouse Trap…that would be a good one.

That’s what it took to build a fort in G’s backyard last week. I lined the bottom with sleeping bags and a big sheep skin blanket, brought out a couple of torches, and voila! It felt like we were in the Arabian Nights, and a little like we were school kids…exotic and playful. You all should go out and do this. Life is too short to be an adult all of the time.

I bought a bag of the old-fashioned type jellybeans for a taste contest. There are red, yellow, orange, green, purple, pink, white and black ones, and I’d heard that with all of them, black excluded, it’s difficult to tell what color you’re eating if you don’t see it first. G and I had a contest and we fed each other jelly beans, one at a time and had to guess the color. He won. It’s not true, you can pretty much guess the color by the flavour, but I mixed up the pink and white ones. I’d forgotten what they taste like, being that it’s been years since I ate this kind of jellybean. A not-so-nice side effect…of course jellybeans are all chemicals/artificial flavours and colours and pretty much sugar…we felt gross afterwards.

only 79 cents for a bottle of bubble soap. I brought some over to G’s house and we were in his backyard, front yard and on the street, blowing tons of bubbles. A storm was coming in and the sky was dark…everything still, and then the wind would pick up and die down. We streamed the street full of bubbles so that cars passing by in his neighbourhood would have to drive through them. Here’s a tip…get an empty toilet paper roll, add some dish soap to the bubble soap to make the consistency thicker, dip the end of the roll in the soap and blow…it makes huge bubbles, about the size of a cantaloupe! Or a lot of medium size ones too. Go out and play…life is too short to sit on yer butt watching Reality TV shows, which are stoopit and useless.

At CD Warehouse, I bought a few CDs…Sam Roberts and Greg Wyard, two Canadian talents I think are wonderful…and I saw a display of retro toys for sale on the way out. I bought a box of two balsam airplanes that you put together in minutes, for $6.99. The cheapo styrofoam planes G and I had fell apart and were thrown out long ago…they didn’t even fly straight. But these balsam planes are amazing! We’ve had contests in the park, running around excitedly like little kids. We’re allowed to sabotage each others planes by throwing things at them while they’re in the air. The geese in the park don’t know what to make of the planes, or us, come to think of it.

G and I went to East Side Mario’s and picked up two of those cheap thin styrofoam fighter planes that come in 4 pieces and have to be assembled….made in China. They were in packages at the front door in a bin of other cheap toys for kids who have been to East Side Mario’s with their parents.

Well of course we couldn’t wait to assemble our planes and have a major contest on who could send it the farthest down the long hallway at his house. These planes are so cheap that they don’t fly straight, so we agreed that we could make major ‘secret’ alterations. It became quite the competition, and it ended when I accidentally tore my plane in half trying to make ripped modifications to the bottom and I had to tape it back together. All this with fruity martinis and the best of New Order playing in the background. I won’t say how long we spent trying to get our cheap planes to fly a straight line down the hallway, but it rivals our time spent on trying to get the slinky to go down his curved staircase.

G had his Coffee Crisp stolen from him, so to keep to the theme, he went and bought 12 of them and hid them so I’d eventually find them, in my boot, in my makeup bag, in my glove compartment, in his dishwasher, under the covers in bed, in my pillowcase….it was so fun to keep finding Coffee Crisps everywhere I went! He said it was a Coffee Crisp Conspiracy, to get me so sick of them I’d never take his again. It won’t work. See my goal “Be a better daughter” for the next installment.

G and I discovered a few weeks ago that the sound of the Slinky acts the same as the vacuum cleaner around his cats. The second they hear it, they scatter! I know that their hearing is much keener and they can detect sounds that humans can’t, so the Slinky must have an awfully annoying sound we’re unaware of. Now, the second we pick it up and they see it, they’re gone! It’s so funny. We’re going to try to say the word “Slinky” every time we think to pick it up and they’re around…and see how long it takes to condition them to take off just hearing us say the word “Slinky”...it sounds a bit cruel, but it’s not really. It’s all in the spirit of fun and experimentation with our feline companions…who look at us with disdain anyway, so why not give them a reason?